this is ME

030309

2009-03-03T06:25:00.000-08:00

WE MADE IT

nice match babes :D
love every single one of you to bits.

excuse me,
the umpires weren't biased.
stoopid (-.-)
some people just refuse to admit the fact and they make up stoopid excuses.
what's the point?
tsktsk.

toodles! :D
jean

010309

2009-03-01T03:43:00.000-08:00

"so what if MGS is strong? NANHUANETBALL IS STRONGER"

-priscilla chua
come on babes,
it's not about winning or losing.
it's about LEAVING THE COURT W NO REGRETS
we will do it manzxc.
we know it :D

one year of tears,
one year of sweat,
one year of enduring the hot sun,
one year of "walauu today got training le",
one year of missing outings w your friends fr training,
one year of listening to coachfanglin yell at us,
one year of hearing mr quek's lectures,
one year of HARDWORK

and it comes down to this.
this match tmr,
at RV.
we're gna fight all out,
we're gna scream our lungs off,
we're gna make it.

COME ON
MAKE THEM PROUD
SHOW THEM WHAT WE'VE GOT.

MAKE THEM REGRET NOT WORKING HARD ENOUGH
MAKE THEM REGRET NOT JUMPING FR CHLOE'S BALL
MAKE THEM REGRET NOT ATTEMPTING TO INTERCEPT CARISSA'S CENTER PASS
MAKE THEM REGRET NOT CHERISHING THE SHOT.
MAKE THEM REGRET THAT OFFSIDE.
MAKE THEM REGRET BEING COMPLACENT.
MAKE THEM REGRET

OUR STAGE,
OUR GAME,
OUR PASSION,
OUR LOVE.
WE WILL MAKE IT.

NANHUANETBALL GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

love,
jean

220209

2009-02-22T05:06:00.000-08:00

come on jean, show them what you've got.
COME ON.

you KNOW you can run faster then that.
you KNOW you can jump higher then that.
you KNOW you can throw better then that.
you KNOW you can worker harder then that.
come on, jean.
you know it, you just know it.
why aren't you performing when you KNOW you can, jean?
what the hell have i been doing the last few trainings.
i WILL show them that i CAN do it.
i WILL make them proud.
i WILL prove all of you wrong.
i MUST do it.
do it fr laysiew,
do it fr wanying,
do it fr amanda,
do it fr zhimin,
do it fr yiqing,
do it fr chloe,
do it fr tanji,
do it fr carissa,
do it fr priscilla,
do it fr rachel,
do it fr juniors,
do it fr seniors,
do it fr coach,
do it fr mr quek.
do it fr MYSELF

once in a lifetime, team.
don't throw it away.
once in a lifetime in c'div,
make them proud!
live down nanhua's name.

I WILL NOT LET YALL DOWN

i put myself in netball,
to play well.
to perform well.
i put myself in netball,
because i love netball.

i'm so sorry fr playing so badly lately.
i've got no idea what's gotten into me, my team.
rest assure i will give my all fr the coming games,
i won't let yall down.

ONE PASSION, ONE TEAM, ONE CHANCE.
GO NANHUANETBALL.
WE WILL DO IT.
WE KNOW IT!

make them proud, jean.
make them proud.

150209

2009-02-15T06:24:00.000-08:00

all you need is loads of issues and a penknife.

230109

2009-01-23T05:56:00.000-08:00

whoohoo!

nanhua netball GOGOGO!
36-11
yes i know i'm ~~a little~~ late to post about this.
still,
we MUSN'T be complacent!
but, we've got to be more confident!
endure endure endure :DDDD
and and and, we've got to talk more on court!
scream, shout, and make as much noise as possible!
hahahah
jiayou hotbabesexymamaohlalas :D
as dearest yiqing says
"WEST ZONE TOP 2!!!"

somehow,
i can feel my passion fr netball fading away!
whyyyyyy!
passion, please come back D;
somehow,
i suddenly try to think of means and ways to skip training!
whyyyyyy!
somehow,
i stop caring so much about the team anymore!
whyyyyyyy!
oh someone, PLEASE just freaking SLAP ME!
wake me up, please.
now's not the time fr this!
in fact, there never should be something like this!
this is a team game,
i cannot be selfish.
do it fr the team, jean.
come on, everyone else is working so hard now!
gogogogogogogo!
focus jean!
get back your passion, your love, fr netball.
come on!
FOCUS!

love,
jean :D

130109

2009-01-13T04:55:00.000-08:00

screwitscreweverysinglemotherfuggingpersononearthihopeyoudieandgoburninhell.

everything's going wrong.
oh, did i mention that i hate ~~something~~ right now?
hoots.

UGHHHHH

110109

2009-01-11T04:02:00.000-08:00

My tears run down like razorblades

And no, I'm not the one to blame

It's you, or is it me?

And all the words we never say

Come out and now we're all ashamed

And there's no sense in playing games

When you've done all you can do

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over

We had the chance to make it

Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over

I wish that I could take it back

But it's overI lose myself in all these fights

I lose my sense of wrong and right

I cry, I cry

It's shaking from the pain that's in my head

I just wanna crawl into my bed

And throw away the life I led

But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die

But it's over, it's over, why is it over?

We had the chance to make it

Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over

I wish that I could take it back

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart

Don't say this won't last forever

You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart

Don't tell me that we will never be together

We could be, over and over

We could be, forever

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart

Don't say this won't last forever

You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart

Don't tell me that we will never be together

We could be, over and over

We could be, forever

It's not over, it's not over, it's never over

Unless you let it take you

It's not over, it's not over, it's not over

Unless you let it break you

It's not over

~~i'm feeling so suicidal.~~

oh yehh, imma just dig a hole and jump into it and decompose.

yehh.

100109

2009-01-10T05:57:00.000-08:00

netball

a game, played by 7.

a passion shared by the 7.

at least, that's what i think it's supposed to be.

i am feeling very down.

040109

2009-01-04T02:19:00.001-08:00

i am very stressed right now because i'm trying to do my oh-so-difficult history crap dno what bullshit.
i am very annoyed at myself and i just want to scream my head off.
i hate school.
screw school!

love,
jean

030109

2009-01-03T01:28:00.000-08:00

pftt.
i'm currently doing my holiday homework that i SHOULD have started on 2 months ago.
my co-form happens to be

fulaoshi

and i'm so effingmotherfreaking mad and annoyed.
today's just not my day.
pftt.

love,
jean

131208

2008-12-13T06:00:00.000-08:00

DEAD BLOG

helloooooooooo my dearestestest blog :D
it's been forever since i blog.
*yawns*
i was like blog hopping and decided to blog since i'm oh-so-bored :D
i'm going to malaysia tmr, till wednesday.
i don't wna go lahzxc D:
i'll miss the netball camp.
DDDDDDDDDDDD:
they're freaking gna go to walk at freaking bukittimahhill.
ahhh, brings back memories of the nightwalk.
and like walking with...
nehmind.

anyways,
netballllllll :D
today's match w SJC,
11-7.
but we played like fucked up bullshit D:
walauuu
the seniors did uberly well,
30-6.

church is fun.
we've got like all sorts of weird events lately.
the best being the nightwalk so far.
ohmygosh, when's the next nightwalk lahzxc :D
and the camp was uberlyuberlysuperly fun too :D
and the advent vigil really opened up our hearts and made us think really hard.
dance has been taking up so much of my time.
andandand,
i can't wait fr journey of st anthony next weekend :D
i heard it's gna be like a freaking amazing race around singapore.
with simply means,
FUN :D
*yawn*

okayy
blogging is boring.
since i know no one's gna be reading this anyways.
hahah.
see yall :D

love,
jean

301108

2008-11-29T23:30:00.000-08:00

BUSYBUSYBUSY

busy w church,
busy w training,
~~busy w pretending i'm alright~~

BUSY W MY BRAND NEW CHIOBU.
yes lah :D
lately, i've been whining to my dad that i want a CAMERAM of my own.
and so yesterday we had this ~~weird~~ dinner thing that my dad's company organised,
and like there was this lucky draw in which every family would win something,
and my family AMAZINGLY won a black samsung camera :D
it's offically MINEMINEMINEMINEMINE and i've decided to name that gorgeous piece of metal CHIOBU
so watch out, you chickennehnehs in my photography class in church,
muahahah. :D

we (netballers) had a friendly match vs SCGS D:
21-9, so embarrassing lahzxc.
babes,
we were all MUCH too nervous D:
maybe we don't have enough experience?
and heather and yuzhen,
yall are doing GREATGREATGREAT :B

andandandand
NACP (also known as cheeping by some of my friends)
thankyou fr all the wonderous things you've done fr me.
the way you're always there,
the way you're able to counsel me :D
the way you're always there.
iloveyou :D

ohohohohohohoh,
and i think sacha's the cutest thing/person/object on earth.
no idea why XD

love,
jean

261108

2008-11-26T05:43:00.000-08:00

like a fallen angel

anywhos,

competitions are coming up

we, nanhuarians, have to TRAIN TRAIN TRAIN ;DDDDDDDDD
we can do it.
NANHUA GOGOGO!

to someone,
iloveyou :D

jean

071108

2008-11-07T04:28:00.000-08:00

hello :D
i don't feel like blogging all of a sudden D:

butbutbut, today's a greattttt day :D
someone came over and we did sth and then we had sth and then we helped my mum do sth and someone went somewhere and someone came back and i SOMETHINGED someone and someone SOMETHINGED me back:D
(hah! try decoding that, morons!)
*laughs and points*
jean's a veryveryVERYYYYYYY happy girl now :D
someone, I SOMETHING YOU VERY MUCHS.

yesterday's training was D:D:D:
called priscilla cause i thought i was too early and that i was gna be the first to be there.
turns out, she was already there :D
bought snapple and went over to the stadium.
went to the loo and applied loads of sunscreen,
andandand priscilla dint dare to touch me cos' i was too oily!
hahahahahhah :D
i almost fainted doing the warmup thingys,
while stoopid chloe and yiqing did it like nobody's business.
they were so ~~fucking~~ fast lahzxz!
stooooopid D:
zhimin, carissa and priscilla are the nicestest people on earth,
they kept encouraging me :D

me love them loads!

then we did ball handling,
and then ball drills w the seniors.
wow, they're DANG good lahzxz.
veryveryvery fast, veryveryvery accurate, and veryveryvery muscular.
i'm GREEN WITH ENVY

hahaahah :D
then was some weird half court thingy.
i was uberly mad at someone because of something.
i shan't elaborate,
i THINK zhimin knows what i'm talking about.
andandand,
manda was looking pale/sickly/nauseous D:
get well soon, babe D:
we need you!
next was full court w seniors D:
shaeron/siying was "baby-sitting" me.
was having a dang hard time comprehending what shaeron was saying,
but i THINK i get it :D
then played some weird scissors, papers, stone game that was like team-bonding :D
hahah :D
had loads of fun during the game manzxz :D
went home afterwards w carissa, zm, priscilla, rachel and yiqing!

OH, AND I SAW

wait for it

wait

wait

JENNY!

(see, wasn't it worth the wait)
she was sooo, different from what i saw in her friendster.
~~bad~~ different D:
totally not what i expected her to be.
and she was shy D:
i saw them (firdaus and her) at admiralty mrt station today noon when i was meeting tien and pok fr lunch.
i miss firdausssssssssssssssssssssssssss :D

lastly,
~~NACP.~~
you mean the world to me.
iloveyou

loveeeee, (manymanyMANY hearts!)
jean

061108

2008-11-05T17:50:00.000-08:00

bored bored bored bored bored!
i shall post up some random photos :D

the team at pizza hut :D (okayy maybe not the whole team

from left : MANDA, ZM, PRIS, YIQING, LAYS, CARISSA, ME, WANYING

primary school babes (IMISSYALL)

from front: GLADS, ASH, L, CHARINNE, FION, ME AND TIEN

UNGLAM!

me miss that sexymama D:

me looking constipated! :D

me doing i-don't-know what :D

look carefully and you'll see the reflection of me and pok :D

took this when we were on sth going somewhere to do sth.

hahahahhahahahaha :D

me and fifi the dog in the school loo!

me and tien at the PREMIER ENTRANCE of the click five concert a few months back. (whatever premier entrance means, it just sounds cool :D)

105! + some random people from other class.

pok, me and tien at a bad attempt to look mad :D

(i look like a whore!)

051108

2008-11-05T04:41:00.000-08:00

change

is horrifying D:

i was blog-hopping recently and landed upon some of my primary school friend's blogs. it really was the SHOCK OF MY LIFE to see how much they've changed in such a short span of time. i thought we promised never to become bad? i thought we said never to grow apart, to stay friends forever? well, i thought wrong D: they've changed, to become monsters that i don't even recognise anymore, and it really brings tears to my eyes. talking to yall seems different now, not in the sense that we aren't in the same school anymore, but by the way yall talk, the language yall use. it DISGUSTS me, really. i honestly look back, see the innocence, see the times we've been through together, and wish that i could change you, but i can't. it pains me, to watch yall turn into monsters and not be able to help. i wish that things were like they were in primary school, that yall would never have become what yall were today. i wish.

iloveyou

love,
jean

041108

2008-11-04T04:46:00.000-08:00

screw

what the screw.
i'm not in the mood to do anything.
~~maybe cry myself to sleep and just watch the blood flow?~~
screwed up.
whythehell.

love,
jean

031108

2008-11-03T06:22:00.000-08:00

ahhhh!

my blogskin's screwed.
i'll fix it tmr D;

031108

2008-11-03T04:09:00.000-08:00

i went to malaysia yesterday w my mum D:
(note the smiley face is D: instead of :D ?)
shan't elaborate because it was uberly unpleasant!

to all NHHS netballers,
training on saturday's changed to friday at 3pm
why?
because we're having a friendly game w some other school :D
and the netball chalet's comfirmed to be on 19, 20 and 21 nov.
more details at http://nanhuanetball.blogspot.com
i can't wait fr training tmr :D
no idea why!

stoopid lahzxz,
netball chalet's on 19, 20 and 21
church camp's on 21, 22 and 23 D:
i'm gna be so effing exhuasted
and i don't have enough of tee shirts!
sian.

~~it's really horrifying to see how people have changed.~~
what monsters they've become D:
what happened to the innocence?
i don't know you anymore,
and that's fucking scary,
because i've known you since we were babies.

p.s. i love you!

loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,
jean

011108

2008-11-01T06:04:00.001-07:00

andandand, all you nincompoops reading my blog, yall better tag because i took the time to blog! hahahahahah

011108

2008-11-01T05:23:00.000-07:00

I'm posting because i'm OH-SO-BOREDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

yesterday morning
talked to cheeping fr effing because he was at class chalet
had loads of fun and like his classmate, jenny was on the phone w firdaus
YES, FIRDAUS FROM PRIMARY SCHOOL
i miss him :D
yeh, it was loads of fun.
made me realise how everyone changed.
everyone's changing D;
really.

yesterday's haircut
i was haircut crazy on wednesday,
so finally made a date w my hotbabes to cut hair
met pok at admiralty at 10:45,
but that smellychicken was still at home when i called her to tell her i was already there (-.-)
bused to tien's house,
and waited fr her :D
went to 7-11 to get a cheese hotdog,
and i swear IT'S THE BESTEST HOTDOG ON EARTH
went to cut our hair,
guess what.
we stayed in the friggin shop fr 4 fugging hours.
because this old couple came first and they wanted to dye their oh-so-white hair,
so we sat there and waited like stoopid fools for 4 FUGGING HOURS
finally it was our turn and i cut first.
i did this spiky hair thingy's that's kindda cool but i can't tie my hair up anymore D:
and tien did this look-like-a-guy-but-is-super-hot hair :D
i dno what pok did because i rushed off to meet cheeping :D
went to meet him and he kept insulting my hair,
saying that i looked like some chao-ah-lian WHEN I'M NOT
then he changed his mind and said that i looked like i woke up.
screw lahzxz
he went to "rest his eyes" on the bed and fell asleep 5 mins after,
leaving me there bored to death D:
he looks cute when he's asleep,
though he covered his face w the pillow :D
went back home and BLAHHHHHH

training today :D
met yiqing at woodlands mrt.
that stoopid thing was late, AGAIN
sat UNGLAMLY on the floor in thr train,
because she was having pain D:
then because i had to tie up my bombastic hair,
i made yiqing hold my phone and listen.
because cheeping was on the line but he made me hold on,
FOR 20 FREAKING MINS.
then i checked the phone,
turns out he hung up already.
so yiqing was holding the phone up retardedly for 20mins w no one on the line
hahahahahahahahah
reached clementi and met up w zhimin WHO WAS LATE
(for 10mins, mind you! and we had to miss 1 bus D:)
stood there like MORONS trying to flag fr a cab,
but zhimin decided to tell us we could call fr a cab.
AFTER STANDING retardedly in the rain fr 20mins.
(-.-)
cabed to school,
then trained.
15mins run,
alot of very fun pt,
and some defending/attacking thing.
Coachfanglin's coach, who we called jiaolian, came to coach us today.

"NI DE PI GU HEN DA LE!"
yes, thankyou fr insulting my bigass.

we bathed and went to eat.
we = me, zhimin, amanda, priscilla, carissa and yiqing :D
yiqing was moody throughout the thing because she was having pain D:
get well soon, babe.
we had kfc and we LAUGHED OUR FUGGING ASSES OFF
i swear that manda's the funniest/cutestest person on earth!
andandand,
PRISCILLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
what those people sitting next to us talking about ahhhhh?!?
hahahahahah
*whisper whisper*

went to church after that.
was early fr like 1 hr? D:
stood there alone like some stoopid fool but good thing dear priscilla was texting me about her and her un-showered body :D
IILURBBUELAHZXZ
then alex and maralene came.
and i went to throw my paopaocha away when joyce suddenly talked to me.
was quite paiseh cause i dint know how to chat w her but i could tell that she dint want to be alone D:
sorry D:
then went up to the room :D
cheeping and joel was missing fr like the first half an hr of class,
and i was wondering whether to text cheeping but decided not to because mrchee kept walking next to me.
andandand, i dropped my phone like a gazillion times and i was laughing like a madcow w bernice :D
cheeping finally texted me, turns out the 2 nincompoops overslept!
(they had soccer training before that and they went to joel's house to sleep fr "a little while")
hahahahhaha i was sooooo amused lahzxz :D
oh, and I LOVE JESUS CHRIST
homed and i'm now rotting my butt off :D

loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,
jean

221008

2008-10-21T17:56:00.000-07:00

stoopid survey,
i dint even wna come to school today lahzxz :D
but i had training, so no choice.
ME HEART NETBALL
~~but me heart nacp more~~

i haven't been blogging for a uber long time :D
so many things have been going on (as usual)
and alot of things i can't say :D

hahhahahahah
i love netball lahzxz.
we're all progressing very well,
at least now we want to work hard.
let's all chiong tgt and become national's first! :D
zonals are not that far away ehh?
3 more months, it's time we BUCKED UP AND WORKED HARDER
:D

tientientientientien,
although we're no longer in primary school,
our friendship will still remain the same.
we're both missing primary school right now,
please do know it.
but what's in the past is in the past,
so we've got to move on :D
but whatever it'll be,
i'll forever be there.
i'm just a phone call away yehh?
iloveyou :D

JEAN'S LOVING EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW,
BECAUSE .................................
HAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

love,
jean

181008

2008-10-18T07:45:00.000-07:00

dead blog

111008

2008-10-11T06:50:00.000-07:00

EOYS ARE EFFING OVER
and i think i'll repeat this, just in case yall dint see it.
EOYS ARE EFFING OVER
ahahahahahahahhahahahahah.

it's been a gazillion years since i've last blogged :D
yay.
well, a million things have occured since then.
i'd rather not talk about it,
because even i myself dno what to say.

eoys was BOO.
i screwed up geog D:
well, whatever lahzxz.
~~school life's screwed up anyways.~~
~~why should i even bother anymore?~~

mmm.
yesterday, i went jogging w tien.
YES, WE DID JOG LAHZXZ!
SUPPOSINGLY met up w pok at 7:45 at admiralty mrt,
but someone was LATE!
when i called, she was still asleep.
whatthefug.
then went to tien's house,
and got ready etcetc.
TIEN'S HOUSE'S BEAUTIFUL MIRROR IS GONE!
NOOO
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
hahah.
then we joged.
and joged
and joged
and joged
to sembawang.
YES, from tien's house.
and YES, we did stop XD
then movie ----> housebunny!
was uber funny and bimbotic!
"i bet this show has a lot of bimbos in it"
"HUH?!? why are you watching yourself in the cinema?"
ahahahahahhaha.
*laughs and points at pok*
the we went SAKAE!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
all our efforts D;
first time for me at sakae,
we ate
and ate
and ate.
hahahah.

today's cat class :D
shan't elaborate since it was just borinnggggggggggg
but alex should/have to shutup okayy?
went fr mass after that w maralene.
her sisters are just ADORABLE!!!
esp. stephanie (NO, NOT THAT NANHUAHIGHSCHOOL105STEPHANIE)
:D

last few days,
ughh.
shan't elaborate.... cheemology
it'd take too much effort to explain.
and even i dno how to explain it right now..

~~yupp.~~
that's the way.
just continue blaming me,
just continue ignoring me,
just continue running away from the truth.
no, i don't mind it.
i don't mind yall gossiping about me.
i don't mind yall pretending nothing's happened.
i don't mind yall ignoring my existance.
fuck yall.
i trusted,
i got betrayed.
more importantly, fuck YOU.

love,
jean

270908

2008-09-27T05:39:00.000-07:00

finally ;D
i decided to update because i can't seem to mug D;
whatever lahxzxz.
i don't want to care about my EOYs already.
WHAAATTTTEEEVVVVERRRR

mmm i've been uberly moody lately.
it's been going on for some time now,
due to some things that's going on.
and maybe because i've been staying up really late to mug?
yehh i'm really really sorry if i've been snappy at you.
(whoever you may be)

netball team's really screwed lahhxzx.
quarrels, fights, misunderstandings.
i have NO idea how to fix things,
and i just wna give up.
babes,
we're a freaking TEAM
what's with all the back stabbing?
what's with all the whispered conversations?
what's with all the lies?
what's with all the secrets?
please D;
i tried really hard to work things out on friday,
but i guess it just dint cut it.
so i GIVE up,
i'm just gna watch and wait to see what's gna happen...

tanji,
yes i was misunderstanding that day D;
i'm sorry.

if i continued,
i'd have a million things to say,
and million people to apologise to.
i guessed i just screwed up everything for myself,
so i'm just sorry to everyone in general.
for being so snappy lately
for being so annoying lately
for talking behind your backs lately
for not trusting yall lately
for doubting in yall lately
for whatever shit that i've put you through...

yiyan
thanks for everything
i MEAN it.
thanks for being there,
thanks for accepting me despite all the things i've done wrong
thanks for caring when no one did
i have no idea how to find a friend like you anywhere else.
you're just FABULOUSSSS

yehh i've got things going on lahxzx.
it's not been good this few days.
i'm trying to fix whatever wrong i've done,
and trying to repair whatever damage i've caused.
i'll blog again when my life's back together in one piece,
right now i've got things on my mind.
just things...

love,
jean

260908

2008-09-26T08:32:00.000-07:00

Fuck.
Just fucking fuck off.

190908

2008-09-19T05:41:00.000-07:00

STOP ASKING
i hate it when yall ask.
mind your own ~~fucking~~ business!
i'll tell yall when i'm ready.

been having horrid moodswings this few days.

sorry to the NB team yesterday for losing my cool.
D; i guess i was just too overwhlemed.
to make it up to yall,
i shall talk about every single one of yall!

jean thinks laysiew is uberly cute!
*pulls laysiew into a bear hug*

jean thinks wanqing is the nicest woman on earth!

jean thinks manda has nice skin!
*rubs manda's face*

jean LOVES zhimin!
*kisses zhimin tenderly*

jean's jealous of yiqing's prettiness!

jean's married to jean!
*starts making out w jean*

jean's superlyuberlyduperly jealous of chloe's HAWTLIKEHELL legs!
*points pinky*

jean's amused by tanji's....... ahem. WINKS

jean think carissa has SUPER CUTE fringe!

jean thinks priscilla's BEAUTIFUL eyes are to die for!
*stares absentmindedly*

jean thinks rachel is super FUNNIE!

hahahhaha.

love,
jean

130908

2008-09-12T19:29:00.000-07:00

hello earthlings! ;D
this few days passed by in a breeze.
hahahah!

monday
my deardeardear JOANONGSIHUI's bday!
happy birthday, noseless!
jean lurbbs ue loads!
i brought a HUGE cake to school to celebrate! (hahah)
it was so huge that we finished in a bite.
and joan is birthdaysongphobic.
when we tried to sing her a bday song,
she kept running away
lol.
i can't remember what happened during the course of the day,
but i remember have training.
can't remember what happened during training.
blahh!

tuesday
haha! guess whatt?
i don't remember anything...
ohh wait! i do.
we went to somewhere to go do something.
we = jiehui, jean and joan! (J SISTERS!)hahahahahha
somewhere = jurong point
something = buy joan's wallet, pierce jean's third earhole and eat fattening ice-cream!
put it in by yourself.
i'm sure you're not that retarded!

wednesday
i tricked joan by saying that i left the wallet on the MRT (which i dint)
and she was so gullible and retarded that she believe me!
hahah! surprised her again on wednesday by saying that i dint lose it.
hahahahah
training was FUNNNNN
we had like bonding session,
and we played loads of weird games,
and ended off w a waterfight!
slacked w yiqing and zhimin outside paopaocha thing,
and the whole time i was thinking.
and sth uber embarrassing happened when me and zhimin went to KFC.
haiz.

thursday
i can't remember anything that happened.
LOL
wait
i can.
haha!
oral.
and then i stayed back to "mug" w yiqing, zhimin and tanji
crapped alot.
and towards the end of the day everyone became uber moody.
tanji, cheer up yehh!

friday
ahahha.
this i remember!
;D i found the trend in this.
i NEVER remember what lessons i had.
who the hell listens in class anyways?
mid autumn festival ;D
me, joan, jiehui, chloe and joey went to pizzahut to gain fats after school today.
i confided then on someone and joey hit me with reality!
D; oh and i found out that joey's actually very nice to talk to!
like intially i dint know her very well,
i liked her, but i just thought that i dint click well w her,
but yesterday made me know the real joey!
pizzahut,
and chloe was practically vacuuming the cheese bits off her plate!
hahahah.
joan, jiehui and me were like taking ahlian shoots of ourselves,
and we had loads of fun lahxzxz!
then we went back to school,
and i went to my stall to help out.
guess whatt?
those screwed up bitches in my class asked me to go away!
WTH manxzxz
then i just hanged around at 106's stall being bored.
suddenly became uber moody(NO IDEA WHY) and really needed to talk to yiyan
but she was too busy working at her stall
and thus i was left to sit there like a moron
finally i found zhimin and we went walking and i talked to her about some things,
and i felt alot better after wards.
iilurbbue lahxzxz!
thanks zhimin fr hearing me out yesterday.
then we went to get some fugly lanterns and walked around,
and mine almost caught fire.
went back home w yiqing, and yes that was my mid autumn festival.

i realised that i left yiyan out alot on my post,
but i just can't remember much of what i did w her.
prolly because most of the time i'm w her,
we talk about personal stuff.
anyways, i'll try to include more of you the next time yehh?

and yesterday while talking to zhimin,
i realised loads of things.
zhimin really enlightens me!

joan's like my happy apple,
she's always there to make my frown upsidedown!
thanks love.

and that's all i can say.
lately i think alot,
i dunno if it's a good thing.
and i've been extremely moody lately,
getting a mood swing every few hours.
i mean it.
i've got no idea whats happening to me...

love,
jean

060808

2008-09-06T05:56:00.000-07:00

PESS was....
i have no idea how to describe it.
i've got no idea what to say about it.
i've got no idea what happened in there today morning.
so i shan't elaborate on it.
but all i can say,
i'm uber dissapointed.
at my own performance, and at how we performed together as a team.

~~my dear netballers.~~
i was mad at yall, okayy? ;D
i was just exhuasted after the thing and i was just kindda snappy
so i decided to go back cause i needed rest.
and i knew that i was gna start yelling at people if i stayed.
it's not your faults yehh?
iloveyouhotbabesloadsfoever!

040908

2008-09-03T23:10:00.000-07:00

its official
Jean HATES geography!
i mean, why the hell do we need to know what's the capital of freaking Argentina?!?
like, it's not like i'm gna migrate there, right?
UGHHHHHHHHH

as the days come closer to PESS,
i'm becoming more and more nervous.
like, i really wna show the world that i can do it.
that i can pass w/o messing out.
that i can intercept a ball.
that i can jump properly.
pesta sukan was an extremely trumatising experience for me.
it was my first ever netball game/carnival,
and i had no idea how to act/what to do.
i dint expect that huge amount of stress,
and i certainly dint expect to have the need to be 100% concentrated.
i mean, i watch other people play before.
it just seems like they're doing it so seemlessly and it's like taking no effort for them at all!
so, i just really hope that i/we perform well for the PESS.
ohohoohohohohohoh,
and turns out, i really like playing GK ;D

zhimin, don't woory about not being able to play wingD.
you'll get the hang of it sooner or later.
;D

and SCREW holidays homework alr.
i give up on trying to comprehend what they're saying.
it's freaking USELESS.
i'm just gna go and copy other people's work on monday.

jean misses joan/yiyan/joey/jiehui truckloads.
nahh that was just RANDOM...
okayy time for my lunch. yay!

love,
jean

010908

2008-09-01T03:36:00.000-07:00

ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOARRRRRRRRRRRRR

hahahah sorry. i had a sudden urgh to say/type/do that ;D

yay!
today's training was rather good ;D
(note the use of RATHER and not VERY?

met yiqing at woodlands.
i was DARNNIT amused when she messaged me
"hey if you dun see me then you alight first? I'll be a lil late.."
hahahahahahah .
YIQING!!! define lil! hahahahahaha
saw her.
i was eating this stoopid piece of ultraduperly spicy dunno what pink thing
and i was practically tearing cause it's just WAYYYYY spicy
we talked about i dunno what (cause i forgot -.-) all the way to clementi.
saw rachel and zhimin while walking and i JUMPED!!!!(yes, JUMPED) on zhimin.
hahahhahahahaha
went to school.
RACHEL was being crazy and singing songs that no one knew.
(rachel grow up!!!) ahahahahhaha
saw priscilla and walked to school tgt after that.
training blahhblahhblahh.
was qt uneventful.
only thing is that my girlf broke her pinky.
ZHIMIN'S PINKY, YOU'D BETTER GET WELL SOON OR I'LL BREAK THE OTHER PINKY. MUAHAHAHHAHA!
after training, we slacked in school fr effing long while waiting fr RACHEL to get done with some dumbdumbboooommmbeeebeee project.
saw my DEARDEAR jiehui and she showed/told/maked fun of me about ~~something...~~
i shan't elaborate but i was effing upset.

lunch w priscilla, carissa, zhimin, rachel and laysiew.
carissa was wearing this uber cool green top that i bet i can't fit into!
and priscilla was emo'ing (AS USUAL) about her AHEMAHEM.
*winks veryvery annoying*
hahahah we were talking about this really cute basketballer.
HE'S CUTE OKAYY?
C-U-T-E CUTE.
GO EAT DUNG, ZHIMIN
realised that rachel eats uber slowly and that she couldn't live w/o making noise.
(((: hahahahhahah
ohh and that my girlf can't take chilli!
*LOW ONE MANXZXZXZ*

hahah went to the bookshop and rachel bought her files.
hahahah she was dammit funny larhxzxzxz.
i bet she has ten thousand files alr!
ohhohohohhhohhh!
guess what?
my girlf get's excited over books.
yes. you've got it right.
BOOKS
how extremely BORING is she lahxzxzxz!
hahahahahahhahahaha *laughs and points*
she cheated my feeling and refused to go to the library w me.
*sobs uncontrollably*
**#($ toooooots.
homed and i fell asleep on the mrt.
unnnnggllllammmmmm lah!
okayy meehonggua (how to spell it?!?!?) time!
yayyyy! hahahahah

love,
jean

310808

2008-08-31T03:41:00.000-07:00

SCREW SCREW SCREW SCREW SCREW
screw whatever is going on around me.
i feel so overwhelmed by emotions,
and i just wna scream out loud

i have NO idea why i'm so moody,
i just am.
~~fuck lahh!~~
really..
i'm in such a bad mood that i see the need to say/type that.
lastly,
screw all those self-centered bitches out there who act like they know it all.
i'm hating this...

jean

290808

2008-08-29T05:58:00.000-07:00

moody, moody, moody

i love my wife!
today was the lame mass walk thingy.
yiyan was effing nice and she came up to the front to walk w me.
jean hearts yiyan!
however, something ultra upsetting happened towards the end of the mass walk.
shan't elaborate but i'm sure jiehui/yiyan will know what i'm talking about.
it really made me really angry/upset and it affected my mood for the entire day.
screw lahhzxzxz...

primary school ;D
ohmytian i miss APS so effing much lahh!
i saw loads of people #(*$@#
was jumping around saying hi to everyone
and charinne finally came.
i miss her so effing much.
saw mdm sng and yelaoshi!
mdm sng turned chio'er somehow!
and yelaoshi GREW HAIR
ahhahahah

lunched w tien, pok, fiona.
loveloveLOVE fiona so effing much lahh!
oh we went to play bball tgt.
liwei, zhengyu and chyitat came as well.
it shocked me that liwei hasn't changed the slightest bit.
((: was kindda moody throughout the bball games,
and kept thinking about what happened earlier.
and i SWEAR my ankle is broken.
it kept hurting.
)): today's moody as well.
ohohohohoh LIWEI THREW THE BALL ONTO MY EYE
screw! it still hurts now.
i think he successfully dented my right eye in!
*points pinky at him*

well, today's a moody day! )): *frowns*
thanks YIYAN wife and DARLING jiehui for listening to me ramble today.
((: it means alot to me.
LOVELOVE!!!

love,
jean

280808

2008-08-28T03:54:00.000-07:00

i'm kindda moody today.
scrape that.
what i meant was,
i'm VERY moody today.

today morning, i stood on the mrt, watching the raindrops fall on the glass pane of the train.
i sat bus from clementi mrt station to some place, and then walked until the end of the coffee shop.
stoopid lahh. msged weiting to come save me, but i think she dint see the msg.
ended up standing at the coffee shop for an embarrassing 5mins, before i saw rachel coming w meiru.
they were gna share a brolly,
and meiru offered to share the brolly w me.
i declined, but ohmygawt lahh!
i was effing touched lahhxzxz!

school was a blahh.
was kindda upset during recess/assembly cause of sth...
and swimming was crapful.
i'm just moody today ):

mind you,
the 2 different texts below refer to 2 totally different persons.
2 people made me sad today,
thus i'm uberly moody. )):

i noticed the change in you. the way you dint seem to realise that i was hurt when you insisted in asking her along. the way you sounded distant. i seriously hurt so bad, that's why i had the stupid happy voice on, to hide the hurt i'm feeling. like for once, i just wna spend some time alone w you, to catch up on life, but you insisted in asking her along. it hurts, it does... i guess this is what people mean by growing up yehh? growing up and drifting apart. so much for bestfriends...

heyy i dno what's going on, but don't be sad alr. seeing you're face like that during recess reallyreally worried me. )): whatever the "matters" were, don't let it bother you alr yehh? turn that frown upside down! ((:

love,
jean

270808

2008-08-27T06:03:00.000-07:00

i'm doing this cos' my DEAR joeyquah asked me to.

Joey Quah of class 106 is officially jean lin's valentine!
hahaha.
1 night stand. XD

i'm so effing tired that my eyelids are practically screaming for me to let them shut.
toots lahh!

love,
jean

260808

2008-08-26T05:12:00.000-07:00

hello earthlings!
hahahahah

i now officiallly annouce myself the stoopidest person on earth!
i was planning to message 107's ngsiying, but i ended up msging 307's ngsiying!
soooo embarrassing lahh!
then i was still being stoopid and i thought she was just joking when she said she dint know who jiehui was!
dammmmmmmnnnnnnn embarrassing!
TOOT!

school is boring lahhxzxzxz!
so i shan't talk about lessons! :D
recess w joan, chloe, CHICKEN~~(quackquack!)~~ and joey!
was looking for my wife but couldn't find her.
so i went to class to look for my dear jiehui!
was chatting w her and calling her stoopid when sth FRIGGING unpleasant happened.
~~stoopid FUGLY skinny BITCH~~
i shan't elaborate b'cos it'll just make me madder.
()$#*@$)(

found wife w siying and i started yelling about what happened.
shan't elaborate as well.
lessons. BLAHH
i love weiting, amelia and jieling lahh!
they're like the nicestest people on earth!
JEAN HEARTS THEM!

lunched w wife as she broke up w me to get tgt w stoopid yiqing!
yiqing! you're gna pay for what you did!
hahahahahahahahhaha :D

after school, went to jiehui's house to bake cookies full of fats!
stoopid joanong/sihui was being soooo noisy and soooo embarrassing lahh!
she was screaming like a mad cow.
joanong!/sihui! says MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
hahahahahhahahahahah
ohhohhohh i angry w chloe!
she PURPOSEFULLY drank paopaocha(OREO CRUSH SOMEMORE!) in front of me!
when she knew i was trying to cut down on those!
we went to the loo and jiehui nicely helped stoopid joanong/sihui put her shoelace into her uniform cos she dint know how to!
hahahahahah
went to jiehui's house for a pathetic half hr before i left w joan!
OHOHOHOH JOEY ATRRACTS YOUNG MEN!(by young i mean 4yrsold!)
i SWEAR that jiehui's brother likes joey, i swear!
& joey and jiehui, sorry i keep messing up your names!
they just kindda sound the same! sorry darliinqqs!

oh this reminds me!
JOANONG/SIHUI! (BRODDERRR!!!))hahaqhahahhahahahahah!

sihui/joanong stoopidly made me wait for a totally UNHOT guy!
and and and
while on the LRT we were amazed by the colourchanging windows!
hahahahahahahah
i was trying to dig out JUICY gossips from joanong/sihui,
but she refused to budge!
nvm.
i'll dig it out from you TOMORROW during open-space.
muahhahahahahah

JEAN LOVES HER WIFE AND HER SECRET AFFAIR!
JEAN LOVES JOEY, JIEHUI, JOAN AND CHLOE.
JEAN kindda LOVES CHICKEN.
JEAN LOVES WEITING, AMELIA AND JIELING
JEAN LOVES ~~youknowwho~~

hahahahahahah
i'm still dammit amused by the "message wrong person" thing!
hahahahhahahaha

love,
fengjun (SCREW YOU, SIHUI!)

250808

2008-08-25T06:03:00.000-07:00

hahahhahhahahahahahahahha!

I'm currently happily married to my wife, yiyan and having a secret affair w my steady girlfriend, zhimin.
ahhhhh. what could a man ask more for?
hahahah((:

today's was a blahh! (as usual)
congrats to stephanie on FINALLY coming back from the chickenpox attack!
andandand... TITUS IS A SMELLY BASTARD!
i was trying to sleep during thinkingprog (which was LAME) but he kept poking me and taking my wallet/handphone!

was highing around w my wife today morning,
jumping around screaming for chloe.hahhaha
it was darn funny!

blahhblahhblahh! chinese was HAHAHHA
fulaoshi kept repeating the "chenduhaodetongxua"
wtf lahh! your chendu so hao me!
*(#$#
i got so pissed off that i threw my letter writing compo into the bin :D
yay me!

elit=i got back my common test paper.
i did okayy, sooo much better then i had expected it to be!
i got a WHOOPING 16/25!
hahaha i expected sth like -5/25?
hahahahhahaha

recess w wife.
we were walking around being lame.
((: as usual!
sorry jiehui! i kindda pangsehed you today!
i know you're so effing nice and you don't mind, yehh?
<3!

after that was errr...
i dno.
prolly some lameass subject since i can't rmbr what is it!

eng was newsmaking w jesslyn, weiting, amelia and jieling!
i was very snappy cause i was tired and my contacts were effing dry.

lunched w wife(AGAIN)
hahahhahaha i ponned going through chem paper.
THANK YOU WEITING FR HELPING ME CHECK MY CHEM PAPER
i knew i was gna do really badly,
thus no point in staying fr lunch to go through it, yehh?
anyways i was right.
10/25.
hahahahhahahaha

thinkingprog! BLAHHHHH

history
i was covering my face so MSkee couldn't see me dozing off.
i was really EXHUASTED
really. really. REALLYYYY LAHHHHH!!!

hahahhahahahha then it was fun!
netball training :D
active warmup,
team drill,
1/3rd court (in which i fell and almost cried!)
downline,
shooters shooting.
it was effing fun!
i reallyreallyREALLY lovvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeee netball!
hahahahhahahahahahahahhahaha.

tmr's gna be blahh.
D; nvm at least i can see my wife!

stoopidtanji!
i'm soooo effing gna win you in the game lahh!
muahahahhaha i'm gna make you talk to me!
you just watch!
hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahaha

love,
jean

240808

2008-08-24T05:50:00.000-07:00

i KNOW this is the second post today.
but i'm really really bored!
and the stupid rain isn't helping. the rain depresses me )):

for the past 4hrs, i've been on youtube watching rubbish videos.
& i realised a few things =
1)miley cyrus ~~hannah montana!~~ has a really cute voice
2)ashley tisdale is actually very nice!
3)bored people with too much time on their hands make extremely funny videos!

haha. ;D
before that i was trying so hard to make yiyan tell me what ~~you-know-who~~ said!
stupidsmellywoman refuses to tell me and claims that she can only tell me tmr!
(#*#^$&*

okayy i think i'll go read my book now ;D
ohhhohhohh & msjoanong!
your book is extremely cheem lahh!
half the time i've got no idea what it's saying! D;
i guess i'm stoopier then you? :P

love,
jean

240808

2008-08-23T22:42:00.001-07:00

hahhaha!
yay me!
my blog is finally back.
i got so mad at reading other people's blog that i decided i need a blog too! ;D

Blahh to my common tests.
english = 20/30 (YAY!)
maths = 21half/40 (enough said.)
bio = 14/25 (hahahahah. *laughs and points at mdm surin)
chinese = 30/55 (I PASSED!)
history = 17/30 (boohoo! i could have done better)
geography = 19/30 (shocked! i thought i was gna flunk it!)
art = 50++/100 (hahahah. i don't really care. Do i look like an artist to you?)

haha that all the results that i got back.
judging from how good i did, i think i'll prolly be going to clementitownsec w joan in NOTIME!
hahah!

there's NB training tmr. we're going to singapore poly to train!
whoots! ;D

i spent the whole of my weekend wisely ;D
i went and download TONS of new songs for my MP4!
now i can stop stealing carissa's phone!
((:

mmm jean loves ice breakers sour candy!
they're so effing sour that my tongue goes numb!

weekends are such a bore. Jean is missing you-know-who alot.
((:

random fact = I THINK TANJI IS TOTALLY HAWT! (like blazing hawt)
but i'm sooooo gna beat you in the ignore tanji game!!!! *laughs and points pinky*

okayy blahh. if i think of some more random things then i'll post again.
see you guys soon!

love,
jean

270608

2008-06-27T06:31:00.000-07:00

this will be the last post tt i'll put up for a LONG time.

pple. i'll satisfy all you curious minds.
mrpotato is none other than tseyu.
yes many pple have guessed it.
but i denied. i guess i was afraid?
but now im not afraid to say that i do NOT like him anymore.
not now, not ever.
do NOT ask why.
i do NOT want to talk about it,
i do NOT want you ppl mentioning it EVER again.

suddenly i feel all grown up and there is much more to life than what's happening to the general eye.
no doubt i'd like to keep a log on what's happening in my hectic secondary school life, but there is too much emotions entwined in it for me to just tell what's happening.
I'll still write, but i just do not want too much of me known to the public.
so it's tata to this space for a while.
until i feel less constricted by my own life.
i am loving secondary school life anyways, don't get me wrong.
just that the feelings in experiencing are too deep and i don't want them lost in time just bcos i don't want to write it down here.
so... yehh.
for a while. just for a while.

jean

200608

2008-06-20T17:28:00.000-07:00

omg i havent been at this darn blog fr so long.
)): it's extinct already. you're not seeing any blogs w posts tt are as far away as 5thjune anymore.
BLAHH

im not here to babble abtt my vacation.
which, FYI, was boring.
you'll don't really expect me to type out what happened during the past few WEEKS,
right?
and trust me, yall DO not want to know((:
i love my sis mann.
seeing her was great though... ((:

okayy im here to address a few issues.

no.1 - homework.
XUCHENFENG/SHENTSEYU/HEZIXING
hv yall done the chem project? (which i doubt they hv)
anyways im secretly hoping they haven't,
bcos then i''ll be a free loading b****

no.2 - netballers.
okayy i know i've been missing out on sooo much trainings));
i miss every single 1 of u girls.
tanji, wanying, chloe, carissa, zhimin, qiying, laysiew, amanda, rachel and priscilla.
and i THINK yall hv a SRC carnival ehh?
JYS. we NANHUARIANS can do it.
((: i'll be needing LOADS and BUCKETS of help when i get back.
i bet yall will be so buffed tt i won't even recognise you.
and america's fast and junk food is definately NOT helping me in my fitness. :X

no. 3 - huitien and pok
heyy u boobs free anytime soon ?
i need to meet up w yall.
im missing yall already.
yall are too busy w ur GODDARN lifes tt i bet yall hv already forgotten my existance ehh?
((:
<3s.
see yall soon.

okayy tts about it.
you earthlings will be hearing/seeing more of me soon((:

jean

060608

2008-06-05T19:05:00.000-07:00

okayy im in US now.
and it's effing cold here, even though its summer.
its no fun lahh, we've been driving around the pass few days, trying to keep warm.
i thought that it was summer and thus naturally, summer=warm weather and so i brought shorts and teeshirts!
and now im like freezing! stoopid weather.
ughh.
okayy i just found out 2 devastating news since i left singapore.
1 is regarding tien (tien ask me fr more info)
i shall not blog abtt it b'cos it's kindda personal...

next is abtt those friends that i've got.
Its so amusing how u girls can say it one second,
and the next yall try to cover it up by saying tt yall were joking!
u know what? its just PATHETIC.
it shows how much of a loser yall really are
if u dare to say it, then don't deny saying it!
it's really terrifying how fast yall change sides.
and just 3 wks ago yall were hating my guts!
and now when i'm away,

yall are talking behind my back... AGAIN.
how very matured((: heyy but i've gotta give credit to yall by lying so well ehh?
thanks for being such total bootlickers. yes thanks

jean

290508

2008-05-29T03:46:00.000-07:00

gosh.
i'm feeling so pissed right now.
i have this sudden urgh to go yell at someone!!!
i dno maybe it's the quarrel i had w my mum in the morning.
ughh or maybe its the way i feel really left out w tien and pok.
its just so recent !!
i suddenly feel really out of place w them!!
ughhh!!!

to those bitches,
im still mad at yall.
IM STILL MAD!!!

jean

280508

2008-05-28T06:39:00.000-07:00

its been a really long time since i've blogged.
so sorry readers(if there are any)

today was really horrid.
downright HORRID.
i woke up really cold and tired,
i then realised i was sick.
great,
of all days, i HAD to be sick on a day tt had netball training.
great. just GREAT

i tried to do some work but couldn't cause my head was POUNDING
i crawled back to bed to try and get some sleep but couldn't.
my mum was ultra nice, she tried to make me eat some food but i couldn't.

then i left fr NB.
went to meet tanji fr bbt.
we SUPPOSINGLY met at 2:30.
and i arrived at clementi at 2:15. i was so proud of myself for being early.
BUT NO
she had to rain on my parade.
she was even EARLIER.
ughh.
she saw chloe at first so we went for bbt tgt.
then i got zhen1zhu1nai3cha1.
and a HARD waffle.
yes HARD. like HARDHARD
yuck....
we threw away our cement waffles

then nb.
we had block run.
exhuasting, but fun. i was so proud tt i finished the darn run lahh
i really felt like fainting...

then some drills, blahhblahhblahh.
tiring and fun.
((: i love netball.

This is dedicated to u bitches.
i don't give a darn what u fucking think abtt me.
so whatt if yall are well-liked?
it doesn't give you a fucking right to gossip abtt pple.
it doesn't give you a fucking right to JUDGE ppl.
yes i'm a bitch, im act, SO WHATT.
do i look like i care about what yall think?
cause if yall think i care, im sorry, i DONT
i just fucking hate the fact yall disrespect toot.
yes i've done tt too. i've gossiped. i've bitched abtt toot.
toot, im SORRY.
now to those bitches, sorry mann
i've held this in for a darn effing long time.
please lahh show some fucking respect.
RESPECT OTHER PPL IF YOU WANT THEM TO RESPECT YOU.
please. stop thinking tt you're all that,
cause you're NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF LOWDOWN BITCHES
who act all nice infront of me but infact, yall are bad mouthing me BEHIND MY BACK
yall don't like me, its okayy. tell me .
i'll accept it and try to change if it's right.
but what yall are doing now, is just really really fucked up.
i really hate u sluts...

sorry. that was to let off some steam.
)):
i just hate the way the world judges people...
it sucks. really...

jean

220508

2008-05-21T17:14:00.000-07:00

((: i haven't been blogging for so long((:
okayy i shan't neglect my poor blog...

yesterday was NETBALL((:
last day for msHe here...
i had no idea tt she was leaving so soon)):
so i really tried my bestestBEST to play properly...
but i played like CRAP
we did some drills w seniors.
was so fun lahh.
our senior's senior grouped w me.
and tanji((:
she was sooo nice and like kept encouraging me and telling me what is the correct way to do things.
but i was like totally MESSING up.
the anywhere ball thing was done HORRIBLY...
i reacted sooo slowly and was like so tired.
okayy then skipskipskip.
then played match.
sec1s VS sec2/3.
first 2 quarters i played GD.
i didn't follow the GA and dint dare to jump for the ball.
UGHH
then last quarter i played GK.
1 word=DISASTER
i wasn't doing ANYTHING right.
i was running around the semi circle like a LOST CHICKEN IN AN AIRPORT
ughhhh i almost tripped their GS.
and like. ughh. forget it. i am seriously not cut out to be a GK.
chloe's so good at it and she's not afraid and she's like so flexible.
while im like doing nth and just keep letting go of the ball.
ughh ... terrible.
im so dissapointed in myself...
nothing to say already...

todays the last day of schh for this term.
and honestly,
im qt happy that it is.
((: i seriously need more sleep)):
and i wna just take a break((:
yay netball trainings on holidays 3x a week.
monday, wednesday and friday
3-6
omg im gg overseas and im gna miss out soooo effing much in NB lahh.
i won't attend 8 trainings.
and im already bad enuff.
then if i continue liddat then i'd just turn HORRID...

ughh i've gt nth more to say/.
im just so dissapointed in myself...

jean

160508

2008-05-15T21:20:00.000-07:00

In home econs now.
((: bored.
ahaha i realised sth mann.
i get turned on by the rubik's cube.
like when i play it i'll feel like really relaxed and calmed.
((: yay

and now i hate hanging out w zixing.
not because i don't like her, i do((:
but it's tt mrpotato is always around.
i think mrpotato likes zixing.
like he always talk to her.
i don't like him anymore,
but i still feel a prick of jealousy.
it's not my fault,
is it?

haiz.
BITCH
go away lahhhh.
stop following me around everywhere.
i EFFING hate u.
BITCH

jean

090508

2008-05-09T06:29:00.000-07:00

I'm really very afraid.
i'm so lost and hurt.
i really hv terrible trouble coping and it seems like no one cares.
of all the three ppl i told, no one understood.
intially, sis was there to go through this w me.
it made it much easier.
but now, i realise tt im alone and i've got no one to turn to.
i'm giving up soon.
i want to let go soon.
i just want this pain to end.
i want to throw away the mask tt i've been wearing and show how difficult it is being me.
being in school sucks cause i hv to wear tt silly mask.
being at home sucks even more.
i feel so cornered and i feel like it's me gg against the world.
so now, i dno.
i dno what to do.
tseyu, rymond, fione, thanks for listening.
i guess it's time for me to stop bothering u ppl and face reality on my own.
but i just dno how.
i really don't want to do this on my own but really, no one else is there to help me.
you may say tt you understand, but trust me, you don't.
so i guess what i'm trying to say is,
it's over. Im gna stop hiding from reality and just face it.
and i'm gna do it alone.
b'cos i'm the only 1 who can stop this now.
many thanks to
tseyu, fione and rymond.

090508

2008-05-09T05:45:00.000-07:00

It's offical.
JEAN HATES BLOGS WITH SONGS
like what's w stoopid blogs w songs?
it's like, im listening to songs on youtube and the stoopid songs on the blog interrupts my thoughts.
ughh...

today was blahh.
we had english first.
i was so tired lahh
almost fell asleep but thank god justin is there to entertain me to keep me awake.
then chi was a complete mess.
we were supposed to write some compo on rain.
it was terrible.
every 2 words, i'd hv to turn around and ask titus how to write easy words like "zai".
it was so bad lahh. and my ending was terrible cause i was rushing to go for recess.
((: see, lenise i told u i was first in class for chi!!!

maths was blahh. i was playing w my dear rubik's cude and was paying absolutely NO attention to poor mrs wong)): sorry MRS WONG.
then home econs we had to start working on some MAJOR project. bahh!

lunch was fun thought.
me, lionel, tseyu, lenise and weiting played street netball.
we VSed 210.
they were good mann.
except 1 dude who kept scolding vuglar language.
and i played against JOON. she's good((:

elit = blahhh.
history = the first time i did my hw. im soo effing proud of myself lahh!
geog = terrible.
really HORRENDOUS.
i had no idea what the lame ring of fire was.
and what's the use to know where those mountains are?
UGHHHH.
and i wrote the smartestest things tt made absolutely NO sense.
ahaha im totally gna FLUNK it lahh.
geog is BLAHHHH.
anyone wna join me and create an anti-geog club? ((:

i think i wna take up maths and geog for sec3 and sec4.
can i only do 2 subjects? ((:

after schh my dear mummy came and fetched me back home((:
thanks mummy! i love u((:
bballed w tien and pok and fiona
tien stop being an ahlian pls...
and it really hurt to see tien and her dear BF so close mann.
made me think of mrpotato, and whats gg wrong now.
so effing confused and pissed.
MRPOTATO, i TRUSTED u. i trusted u soo much.
thanks for NOTHING.
haiz
i really miss those babes mann!! it's been so long and we've finally hung out .
im sorry i was so distant today.
it hurts yehh? i still not over him yet. its not your fault, tien.
it's mine.
so, just sorry okayy

mrpotato, i trusted you.
i really did.
and what's happening now...
all those things tt i told u,
but you don't seem as if u care.
yes i think you don't.
so do u want me to stop bothering you?
cause if you do then i really will.
u can FORGET all the things tt i've told you and live ur life w ur effing GIRLFRIEND.
okayy.
so please.
answer me.

jean

08508

2008-05-07T17:25:00.000-07:00

I'm gna blow soon!

in ict nw.
so bored.
ughh.
yesterday's netball was murderous!
and yes
murderous = FUNNN((:
we did some drills till i almost DIED
but it was great.
i felt so skinny after the run. ahaha.
then we played for 2 quarters.
i was GD for the 1st quarter and GA for the second.
i was terrible at being GA, i realised!
i cnt shoot properly and i react really badly)):
ahhaa and i think im not cut out for GA.
i realised being GA looked glam, but takes loads of work.
and being GD is FUNFUNFUNFUNFUN,
yes siying was right.
to ALMOST intercept a ball was sooo SHIOK lahhhhh((:
and ms he says to DRRIIIVVVEEE for the ball. muahaha
okayy i will.
yesterday also did this running drill thing.
my lungs felt like they were gg to burst out ANY minute lahh.
i really wanted to give up.
but my team cheered me and and i managed to finish it.
i wouldn't hv been able to hv done tt w/o their help.
thank you TEAM
<3>
and GD is dammit fun lahh.
muahahhaha.
so is all the other positions in netball.
in simple,
NETBALL RULES
<3>
so high now.

and fione.
happy b'day.
as ur b'day present,
i'll stop calling u a bitch/slut for 2 whole days!
wow LUCKY u((:
<3>

p.s get outta my mind, bastard.
jean

040508

2008-05-04T00:41:00.000-07:00

ughh.
i missedd NSL yesterday.
cause i had to send my DEAR sister off.
she's leaving for america, you see.
4months, stoopid internship.
i'm already missing her, and she hasn't even reached america yet.
)):

i dno.
this sucks lahh.
recently, i've been so caught up w netball tt i totally ignore my studies.
now.
i've never even passed 1 english test after coming into nhhs.
i dint think the standard for english here is so high.
i was effing WRONG.
ughh.
and my chinese.
wtf lahh. don't talk abtt it le.
last time in pri schh i barely passed,
now im getting first in class!(if you decide to count from the back)

haiz i feel like joining netball was a BADBADBAD idea.
not that i don't love netball,
it's just tt i love it too much.
i was never the studious kind,
and now w netball,
studying is just for times i feel like acting guai.
i'm reallyreallyreally worried.
and i dno, i feel tt netball is taking up too much of my life.
haiz. dno lahhh.

this weekend was rubbish (as usual)
bball, bball and MORE bball.
that's hw exciting my weekend was.
i miss my sis.

jean

300408

2008-04-30T05:17:00.000-07:00

SLUT

ughh!!!

you're a slut.

you really are one.

whatever happened to "okayy! i'm alr trying to stay away from him?"

so much for TRUST

so much for BELIEVE

so much for friends.

do you see? this is why we can never be good friends.

you're too flirty and i get jealous too easily.

but this time, u were too flirty, and i was SURE of it.

like hello?
does stay away = sitting next to each other?

does stay away = whispering into each other's ears?

does stay away = sharing the same seat?

does stay away = giggling and saying "badbad"?

if it does, then i'd rather u be as close to him as possible.

screw you.

and please. you already have a BOYFRIEND.

at least show some RESPECT to him...

like don't sit w a boy if u respect your boyfriend.

mann. i'd really hate to be your boyfriend.

i PITY him.

really...

so please lahh.

stop telling me all those effing SHIT tt i BELIEVED and just go to hell.

like "yes i treasure you"

like "i'm sososo sorry . i'll never do it again."

like "i alr trying hard to stay away from him"

you don't look like you're trying.

netball today.

i loveeeee netball.

haha. i really seriously dno what i'll do w/o it.

and im really please w myself.

like i ate alot of junk before training.

and yes i had a stitch during the warmup rounds.

but i persevered and yes, i finish the run.

yeshh!! im becoming more and more like JOY<3.

hahahahha yay.

1 day . u ppl just WAIT. 1 day i'll be PROOO>

hhahahhahaa.

yay.

and i did pair passes w shaeron today.

omg her passes were like. "WHAMP"

then the funestest thing happened.

it's between me and her cause it's just soooo embarassing.

winkwink.

hahahah.

and we played street .

hahha i was in same grp as meisi and JOY<3.

woootssss.

wass sooooo happpppyyyyy

((:

hhahahahahha/

i love netball.

i LOVE netball

jean

290408

2008-04-29T03:26:00.000-07:00

Jean is exhuasted.
Jean needs a break from school.

ugh.
okayy.
brief post about this few days.

saturday was church.
we had some WORKshop thing at church.
WORKshop = we do all the work(as claimed by father terence)
it was about the confession thingy.
was sooo effing cold lahh.-.-
so cold and so dry(cause of the air con)
my eyes were so dry and it was so blur tt i thought my contacts dropped out.

err sunday was SENTOSA w fiona.
was SUPPOSED to go w HUITIEN,
but she couldn't make it. i was EFFING dissapointed lahh.
okayy nvm.
sentosa was great.
i did bungee, laser tag and kayaking.
it felt sooo good to be under the sun again!
(okayy maybe a little too much sun)
now i'm so tan tt if i walk outta the house at night, NO ONE can see me-.-
and i wanted to buy a pair of shades but my mum said i looked like a mosquito w it(cause it was HUGE)

monday was NETBALL/2,4km napfa
i did GREAT for napfa.
11mins(ZHUN1ZHUN1)
i was 3rd in class.
surprisingly, tseyu got 1st. (YES SURPRISINGLY)
he won ziwei by 2secs.
ughh.
ziwei JIAYOUS.

ughh i regret wearing my contacts today lahh.
i kept taking them out/in-.-
and thanks zixing for being nice((:
netball we FINALLY did courtwork.
i think mshe/coachfanglin wants me to play GD
)): i wna play GA.
ughhhhhhhh. i was sooo dissapointed lahh.
i reallyreallyreallyREALLY wanted to play GA.
nvm i think mshe/coachfanglin has their reasons

today was street netball w 1o5.
it was crap lahh.
we kept slacking.
ughh.
then netball seniors wanted to play.
it got really confusing and i think i offended esther/shaeron/weiyuan/siying
whoopies.
and poor chloe fell today.
*splat*
it felt really pain. as i could feel the pain
poor thing.
get well soon okayy??

alright tts it.
BLAHHHH...

jean

240408

2008-04-24T05:51:00.000-07:00

thanks to
-huitien<3
-ashlie<3
-fione
-shuping
-rymond
-hannah
-jesslyn
-lenise
-weiting
-siyingsnr
-weiyuansnr
-my SISTER<3<3<3
for wishing me happy b'day/giving me presents
((; you guys made my 13th b'day a MEMORABLE 1. <3 forever

jean is offically a teenager.((:

i'm offically ROTTEN.
i've been playing netball EVERYDAY, that now my legs are so nua3 tt i cnt even stand up properly.
nb trng on monday, streetnb till 6 on tuesday, nb trng on wed, and streetnb till 5 on thursday.
jean is NETBALL CRAZY
muahaha. i love netball so much tt i won't mind getting married w it!!! <3

today's lesson was a BORE. (as pernormal)
there was blahh, blahh and BLAHH
i had alot of fun during geog though.
ever played the game of "staying awake while you're dosing off"??
well you should try it.

rules for the game.
-requires a STRICT teacher in class who snaps at ppl who lays they're head on the table.
-a exhuasted player.

how to play the game
-try you're best not to fall asleep

its really the funest game ever!!! however, i lost in the game. i fell asleep after 1o mins!!! ((:

during cep, we had to do some self reflection thing.
msAHEM was being a total #$(#@ again. UGH.
well what do u expect?
u put a *#(@&@ and a teacher in a room, and what do u get?
a stoopid BOOTLICKER((:

i loveee school.
b'cos of the EXCITING lessons and the ENRICHING talks(NOT)
i loveee school b'cos i get to play NETBALL ((:
muahaha.
if it wasn't for netball, i don't think i'll even bother to WANT to go to school.
jean<3 NETBALL
hahahah. so high now.
hahahahahahahah

jean

220408

2008-04-22T05:47:00.000-07:00

muahaha.
jean is an evil girl.
she made her mum drive her to schh today!
if you ever see this, THANKS MUMMY.
(but you'd better not)

well arrived in schh effing early today .
early = 7a.m.
went to the take the key place cause i dint think chenfeng would be so early.
only to realise tt he FORGOT to return the key yesterday.
muahaha.
then went to class and screamed at chenfeng.
and guess what. zixing was alr there!
we then proceeded to the canteen cause zixing was hungry.
we were at the tibits stall when guess what. i saw mrpotato.
he was w his new girlfriend.
my happy day just got rained over.
i tried not to look and i hurried away, hoping tt he dint c me.
i dno if he did.
haiz.

then blahhblahhblahhblahhblahh.
dno what dno what dno what.
thn recess
then blahhblahhblahhblahhblahh.
thn lunch. played street netball during lunch.
had soooo much fun.
ps. i just realise tt THE senior tt i dint know her name was call meisi.

then blahhblahhblahhblahhblahh.
after schh.
intially, was planned to practise netball today.(w 1o5)
but our manofthegame(NOT) tseyu couldnt make it b'cos of SOME reason.
then stoopid lionel refused to play properly.
thn i was sooo effing pissed off.
like HEELLOOO.
you hv to at least try it out.
don't give me some CRAP reason tt u cnt play.
cause u know very well tt u hv ur malay lesson at 4.
so u hv PLENTY of time.
anyways.
yehhs i very pissed off.

then i just stormed off and went to play street netball .
(sorry zixing and lenise for pangsehing yall!!!)
i love my seniors. *jealous*
again i say, THEY'RE SO EFFING PRO.
ugh.
okayy i dun care.
i wna learn hw to shoot like meisi,(BAIFABAIZHONG)
i wna learn hw to defend like esther
i wna learn hw to pass like shaeron
i wna learn hw to PLAY like siying
i wna learn hw to move quickly like JOYlim<3<3<3
in simple.
I WNA BE PRO.
sorry esther senior,
my passes during the streetnetball games today were terrible.
)): sorry. you seemed so mad when i anyhow threwed.
i was just still pissed. ));

mrpotato, i cnt forget you...
jean

190408

2008-04-19T06:36:00.000-07:00

today was a total BORE
nothing exciting happened today.
and seriously.
I SLACKED THE WHOLE DAY.
i was sooo bored tt i was practically melting.
and i dno why.
i really feel like playing netball now. :X
seriously, the most exciting thing tt happened today, was gg to church...
SERIOUSLY
i really dint know what was gg on in class.
i dint understand a SINGLE thing mr chee was saying.
but yes.
maralene got me a REALLYREALLYREALLY cute teddy bear for my b'day.
other then that, nothing else really mattered.
i was thinking abt tseyu the whole time.
like what exactly happened.
yesterday was really a mess. it wasn't really clear.
the only thing tt happened yesterday tt i was extremely clear of,
was tt tseyu broke my heart.
he took my heart from me, and threw it on the ground.
now it's broken,
and im stranded here, picking up the shattered pieces and trying to put them back tgt agnn.
yehh and joel was being a total jerk (as usual)
i really dno what's the matter w that boy. ugh...

anyways.
i really wna work hard.
i wna be like siying/joylim/joy dno what(the other joy lahh-.-)/esther/shaeron...
i wna be PROOOO.
okayy i PROMISE my self.
from today on,
i shall NOT complain abtt training.
i will jog the whole 10rounds w/o whining.
i will NOT think about ponning
i will strive to become pro((: muahaha.
okayy i'm gna work hard on netball, and by doing tt i'll eventually forget tseyu
yay. killing 2 birds w 1 stone.
muahahahah
YAY. okayy iim sooo motivated now
I WNA BE PRO
hahaahhaha

jean

190408

2008-04-18T21:00:00.000-07:00

was analysing the mrpotato thing last night w fione,
and i realised tt i wasn't aware of a lot of things.
it hurts. im hurt.
no one said forgetting you was gna be easy, i just dint think it is so hard.
all those times tt i wasn't listening in class,
but instead stealing glances at your direction and doodling your name on my textbooks,
well i hope it'll end soon.
illusions... i was thinking too much.
it was love on my part but never on yours.
yehh whatever. its over now.
no more jean<3mrpotato yehh?

blogging is addictive mann.
im like blogging everyday.
i guess it's b'cos i've got things to blog abtt. ((:
:X blogging ain't helping me in anyway.

jean

180408

2008-04-18T06:24:00.000-07:00

No more
it's no longer jean<3mrpotato.
i no longer love you.

what happened today left a HUGE scar.
but yes no one is to be blamed.
it's great tt u finally found someone from the same league.
well i'm really happy for you. ((:
thanks for listening.
thanks for caring.
thanks for being such a good friend.
but im no match for her.
she's soo chio.
she's soo hawt.
yehh while i'm just .... jean.
grats
i've learnt to accept what i have, and be contented with it.
im really grateful tt you're a friend,
and i don't want it to change.
thanks. i'm saying this.

jean
ShenTseyu, i love you.
tears roll down my cheeks while i type this.
thank you. i love you.

160408

2008-04-16T04:48:00.000-07:00

alright.
this post is gna be darn emo.
pls do not read it if ur high right now.

firstly.
as the saying goes,
new friends are silver but old friends are gold.
i wish i could mean that.
i really wish i could. but i cnt.
we're drifting apart.
not that i mind. like what can i do about it? its neither of our fault.
it's just the way life is. we grow up, go to different schools, meet different people,
and WHOOSH.
we forget our old friends.
whoopie. how great is tt? but don't worry,
i will never forget u. all those time we've spent tgt , i will NEVER forget.
they'll always be kept in my heart.
yehh i admit. im jealous. jealous of your new friends.
like you're forgetting sooo quickly while im still holding on so tightly.
yes i AM jealous, what can u do? nothing.
so yes. just do know tt i'll always be there.
that you'll FORVER be welcomed in my heart.
to limhuitien

mrpotato.
stop playing with my mind.
i KNOW i do not stand a chance. I KNOW it deep down inside my heart.
i've already given up.
but after i've slowly forgotten,
u start talking to me. you start being nice.
WHY... what do u want?
i dno. im lost. please do tell me what you want.
like yes i know you've got a girl in mind tt you're interested.
but here you are NOW, being nice to me.
i HATE it when u do tt. now what? what do i do? wait fr u? i dno.
bastard. i effing hate what i'm feeling now...

im really pissed off with life now.
what the hell is happening?
i dno mann. why the hell ?
ugh its so darn unfair.
i hatehatehate whats happening now.
i hope i cn wake up from this. i hope all this is just a darn bad nightmare.
i hope tt all these never happened.
now it did, i've got a totally different perpective of u.
i HATE u.
i really do. u do not deserve all tt you're getting.
im telling you sth, you'll never get away w it. never.
one day you'll hv to pay the price.
you just wait.
i hate u.

this is contridicting, but yes.
a HUGE thank you to FIONE, RYMOND and TSEYU .
especially rymond. thanks for being the first listening ear.
thank you. ((:

jean
p.s. i still love u.

150408

2008-04-15T04:45:00.000-07:00

i totally blew it.

okayy.
today's already tuesday. YES already tuesday.
i'm counting the days down till it's saturday agnn.
i'm soo deprived of sleep and my muscles are aching(as usual)
i'm really darn tired and as USUAL, i seriously considered the alternative of nt gg sch today.
but then i rmbr tt i hv a lit test today.
yay. way to rain on my day, lit test.
turns out then lit test dint even hv any dumb percentage in ANYTHING
i shouldn't hv gone to sch today.

ugh i did so many things wrong today.
and my birthday date w fione is gna be ruined. ugh.
and mr potato thinks im a b!tch. great.
i guess tuesdays are just not my days(maybe mondays, wednesdays, thrusdays and fridays too)

mmm stayed back w yiqing and tanji to play street netball today.
i dint know why but i had a sudden urgh to just throw the ball really really hard.
i was in a bad mood i guess.
sorry to my DEAR yiqing and tanji
yiqing = sorry for hitting ur head w the darn ball! not my fault! the ball dint like u. but yehh sorry...
tanji = sorry for hitting ur BACK w the darn ball! also not my fault! but sorry...
and i had sooo much fun w siying, esther, shaeron(is tt hw u spell it?!?) june(again i dno how to spell)and another senior tt i dint know of ur name(SORRY)
yehh my netball seniors rule((: they're soo pro lahh.
sometimes i look at them and go "wow. am i gg to be like tt 1 day?"
well i really doubt so. they're soo good tt it seems IMPOSSIBLE to be so good.
it's really kindda stressed to hv seniors tt are soo good and im like.
ahem. i cnt even catch the ball properly.
but i guess tt i just hv to live up to their standards.
nvm.
JEAN WILL WORK HARD AND SHE'LL BE PRO TOO
muahha.1 day i'll be able to do a proper overhead pass.
1 day((:

jean still <3 mrpotato.
he's too difficult to forget.
but sth i realised today really shocked me.
i dint think u were tt low. i guess i was WRONG
i was effing wrong...

jean

130408

2008-04-12T19:47:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIS
happppyyy biirrrtthhhdaaaayyyy toooo youuuu
yehh you're finally 20.
NO longer a teenager.
so STOP acting like 1
<3 u loads((:

well, nothing much to post about.
my EXCITING weekend consisted of sleeping, sleeping, and more sleeping!
muahaha.
yehh nth much.
but i was like gg throught ppl's blogs when i realised mine was PATHETIC
ppl's blogs were like full of pictures and colours and mine's just PICTURELESS
haha. okayy i'm feeling so high now and i dno why((:
okayy will go camwhore soon and post some pictures((:

mmm i've got some blahblahboom tests next week tt i'm too lazy to mug for.
((: i'm hoping tt it'll snow for the whole of next week and school will be cancelled which means.NO MORE TEST
whooopiieee(like tt's gna ever happen)
yes i think i've got some phyics test on monday, lit test on tues, and geog test on wednesday
yay. (sense the sacrasiam)
tts a lot of tests.
we were supposed to hv history test too
but like the time couldnt be fixed so poorrr mskee changed it to nxtnxt monday
omg. im sooo high cause its gna be HOMEECONS test on nxt friday too!
i hope msyeo doesn't die of food posioning after eating my chao fan plus chesse
((: muahaha.
SPORTS MEET ON FRIDAY
can't wait. why?? because NO SCHOOL FOR HALF DAY YAYYY
i hope we get our class tee soon.
i wna see how the singapore flag will turn out.(YES. its red and WHITE)

mm.
i dno why.
1o5 stinks
we're not united.
like just LOOK at 1o1 lahh.
they're so united and tgt.
while we're like. ugh.
forget it.
just giving up on the dumb pokelasai class.)):

mmm IM SO *(#$&@# HIGH AND I DNO WHY
MUAHAHHAHA

jean

110408

2008-04-11T05:16:00.000-07:00

Damn the effing rain!
you ($#$#$U and )(#$# ...
UGH.

got totally DRENCHED today in the rain.
ugh... stupid rain.
stupid weather.
stupid tseyu.
ugh he was like turning the darn umbrella to himself and leaving me standing in the darn rain.
then when i reached schh, i was so wet tt i could take off my socks,
squeeze it,
and water comes dripping out.
stoopid or stoopid.
my hair was wet.
my blouse was wet.
my skirt was wet.
my shoe was DRIPPING wet.
ugh
then i did the most unglam thing tt anyone come do.
i went bare footed to the canteen.
UGH
i effing hate the rain.

jean

100408

2008-04-09T17:39:00.000-07:00

in ict lesson now.
im bored.
well, sometimes i cant stand our class.
i really cntt.
as in like can u darn ppl just co operated??
instead of making life difficult of me and chenfeng,.
its no like we're requesting for yall to do alot.
just to LINE up properly and get up 1 lvl.
even tt yall hv to taker 10 mins.
don't you think yall are a little too much.
as in like hello.
yall make so much noise then if we get scolded then me and chenfeng will be the 1 being scolded.
not yall.
some times i just don't understand.
i really cnt stand it.
pls do understand. its not easy being me.
im trying to change, trying not to scream at yall.
but i cnt stand yall some times.
im really falling apart soon...

ugh. im tired.
i've got netball ltr and im aching all over.
oh yehh tanji.
yiqing knows who are the 2 ppl tt MIGHT be mrpotato((:

this is darn random.
but im missing 6courage agnn.
i miss tien and ash and glads and fion and charinne.
i miss mdmsng.
i miss admps.
i miss mrwong
i miss the canteen.
i miss the bigslide.
i miss esther:x
i miss jinhui
)): i miss mengern.(RANDOM)
haiz.
miss them so frigging much.
hving a darn hard time making friends here.
maybe it's because i've kept too much to myself.

mrpotato:X
i've tried so hard.
but i realised tt i cnt forget you.
get outta my mind u (*#$&@#

tag replies.
jinhui: heyy cute boy! miss me?
yiqing: :X have fun guessing!!
tien: OMG i miss u.)):

TIEN I LOVE U AND MISS YOU
lets get married tmr, okayy? ((:
miss u so much. MUACKS

jean

090408

2008-04-09T00:55:00.000-07:00

jean is extremely stressed up.
i dno why.
she's having an extremely hard time to school.
it's difficult to deny tt the memory of mrpotato is still vivid in her mind.
she admits tt she can't forget mrpotato...

keeping to myself,
i realise alot of things.
like its nt really fione's fault tt she talks to mrpotato.
i cnt control her. she's not my servant.
i cnt possible make her completely not talk to mrpotato.
yehh i'm opening up, letting go.
its not all her fault.im too sensitive.
i guess i've always been like tt...
too sensitive. hurt too easily. its a fault in me. and huge fault.
i've learnt things tt no one could teach me,
i've heard things tt i thought i'd never heard before,
and i've admitted things tt i never knew were happening.
i slowly realise who are in our class, how our class is.
how all the fault is not in yingying.
i realise i was being way too narrow minded.
there must hv been THINGS resulting in her being like tt.
i guess through this extremely short days,
i've grown. i've opened up my eyes to things tt i was too caught up in my own life to hv seen in the past.

i know tt this may sound extremely contridicting,
but yehh...
it sucks to be me...
i cnt understand who i really am.
some times i'm like this,
other times i'm like tt... ugh...

and i realise 1 more thing,
if you do nt personally know me,
you'd never really understand the contents of my blog...
like i say things tt are extremely deep down inside me,
and its extremely encoded.
only people like fione, shuping, tseyu, rymond would seriously understand it.
and in the past, only ppl like huitien, pok, ash would understand.
and as for both the past and the future, only 1 person understands.
MY SISTER.
i love her.
i really do.
i love her so much tt i won't mind getting married w her((:

alright .
enough of the deep things.
now for something lighter.
how does fried rice w cheese sounds?
please give opinions.((:
thanks.
haha
shall stop now.
wna go act-guai agnn((:

jean

070408

2008-04-07T04:12:00.000-07:00

im sorry.
i very very sorry.
i dint think tt things would turn so ugly.
im also lost.
although we weren't really tt close from the start,
it hurts to lose u as a friend
pls don't avoid me. im sorry.
i knew u were there when i was msning u.
im sorry.
i really am.
if i could give u a bucket of blood in return for ur forgiveness,
i would.
i really would do tt.
now all i can say is tt i'm really sorry.
i was really worried abtt u.
but i din't think it would turn so promiscuious.
im sorry.
i really am.
im sryy.
im sryy.
im sryy.
im sryy.
bernice, im sorry.
i really am.

jean

070408

2008-04-07T03:24:00.000-07:00

I just want to cry

I want to cry because you hurt me...

all u care abtt is yourself.

i cnt stand you

really.

i tell u things..

and you go "yehh okayy"

and start whining abtt ur many boyfriends.

i fucking hate tt.

really.

do u hv any idea how much im hurt?

how difficult it is for me?

NO. all u care abtt is ur boyfriend

i really regret telling you things.

i've realised ur too immature to understand the hurt.

i've regretted. but its too late.

i regret alot of things.

like trusting tt u won't go and flirt w the boys tt i blatently told u i like.

like believing tt i could trust u.

i was wrong. you cry abtt ur boyfriend

yehh whatever lahh.

then what do i cry abtt?

stop whining to me abtt ur BOYFRIEND cause i hv other things to bother abtt.

mrpotato,

i realised sth.

i've grown outta you.

no more jean <3>

now its jean <3>

she's alone now.

to tt certain someone(you know who you are)

stupid lies. lame escuses.rude remarks.

tt's the first impression you gave me.

i thought you were

sweet, funny, matured and kindda cute

i thought you'd understand .

i was wrong.

you're just the average low and despo flirt tt all u guys from tt schh are.

okayy im sryy for hving screamed at u.

or like making snide remarks,

but reflect? do u deserve it?

i dno. only u cn decide.

im gg through alot of shit right now.

i dunnid this.

really.

sorry...

to everyone else,

i know i've been weird lately.

maybe constantly screaming at yall.

im sorry.

i really am.

im really confused and pissed off.

i've had enough of all those shit.

i need a break.

sorry)):

im gg through alot right now.

and i'm not sure i can handle all tt by myself.

i can physically/mentally feel myself falling apart.

i hope it'll all end soon.

i dno hw much longer i cn hang on.

so im sorry if ur just an innocent person being screamed at.

sorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorrysorry

jean

050408

2008-04-05T08:07:00.001-07:00

omg. blogging REALLY is addictive... :X
idk why.
i'm like constantly feeling the urgh to blog...

so many emotions are running through my head.
mrpotato.

well, idk...
it seems so weird.
like this is the first time i've been so silent abtt liking someone.
yes i've put it OPENLY on my blog and to my friends.
but no i've not really made it known tt i like him.
like in plain, obvious words.
all those signals i've been sending him,
isn't it more then enough to show tt i like you?
but yet you act innocent.
pretending tt ur not recieving ANY signals of any sort.
so that makes me think.
maybe, just maybe, you know. deep down you do.
but you don't wna show it.
you want me to forget it,
cause ur too nice to tell me straight-out and openly to give up,
so you too are sending signals by NOT sending signals to ask me to give up.
so im just thinking.
maybe i've had just about enough.
its time to move on, and give other boys a chance.
but still, idk...
i wna keep my heart open, to let you know tt you're ALWAYS welcomed in.
)): im so lost.
im so upset.
yehh this is darn random lahh.
but it just sortta like popped up in my head and i realise this may be right.
)): well i really hope this stupid crush will be over soon.
cause its really getting the better of me and i've been spending a couple of sleepless nights thinking about you and what you're doing...

jean

050408

2008-04-05T05:59:00.000-07:00

this post is dedicated to bernice.
okayy i know we're nt all tt close.
but do u realise tt doing you-know-what is actually USELESS
forget abtt tt bastard lahh...
he's nt worth it...
if he doesnt see you, then whats the point?
doing you-know-what wont help you in ANY way...
he doesnt CARE enough...
if he did then ur relationship wouldnt hv ended.
so just forget abtt him...
and move on...
i command you to stop doing you-know-what.
im serious.
if i see a new you-know-what on you,
you DEAD
so pls.
forget tt LOSER.
you deserve someone better...

jean

040408

2008-04-04T06:55:00.000-07:00

omg.
it seems like im addicted to this.
im blogging practically everyday...
ugh..
fine.

today.
dint wna go school.
was so relunctant lahh...
mum said i could ponn if i wanted to.
actually, she was more than happy to let me ponn sch
if i ponn schh,
then she won't be home alone.
nt so lonely.
but went to schh in the end.
cause there was homecons test today.
the homecons test, was hell.
i dint do like 1000 questions.
im planning on getting HIGHEST like 3/30.
and im planning to get like 100/100 for my practical test 3 wks from now.
haha
im doing fried rice+cheese...
i think it'll be kindda gross...
what do yall think??

netball.
pure hell(as ususal)
my legs still hurt from yesterday's stoopid 1.5...
ughh...
but i realise im getting more and more muscular.
issit a good thing?
mmm...

i love my sis.
i really do...
lol tt was darn random.
but yehh i really love her loads...
i dunno what i'll do w/o her.
im serious...
you guys really dun understand lahh...
its like.
yehh we do quarrel..
but at the end of the story,
there'll always be a happy ending.
my sis is like my walking, breathing diary.
^^
i just wna wish my older sis a veryvery happy 20th bday, which will be coming in 9 days.

jean

030408

2008-04-03T03:11:00.000-07:00

SCREW YOU

you've got no idea how long i've been keeping this in.

ur just a fucked up bitch so pls do note that I HATE YOU

sorry...

that was just to cool off some steam.

to all those pple tt i screamed at today.

i'm really very sryy.

i've got things on my mind.

just really darn sorry.

especially 1o5, fione, shuping, junlei and rymond.

sryy...

dint mean it.

hope yall understand...

today was the darn 1.5 race.

sucks lahh.

when the race started my stomach already hurt.

really wanted to give up lahhs.

haiz.

then chionged all the way...

thought i was gna be last lahh.

but then was 5th...

okayy lahh.

nt gd nt bad.

mmm...

iris was darn proooo lahh

haha...

okayy

wna go do my work.

be a good girl(NOTTT)

jean

020408

2008-04-02T03:07:00.001-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIMHUITIEN
love u loads !!
happy birthday...
i offically announce you a... TEENAGER
love u loads.
hv fun in phs(but rmbr to miss me too)
and live teenager live to its FULLEST
love u loads and buckets and MISS u loads and bucket.
muackkksssss

mmm guess what.
jean is the smartestest person on the EARTH
she left the class key in her pocket.
and happily sat the mrt w ying2 all the way to yewtee.
only to realise tt the STOOPID key was still in her pocket.
so embarrassing.
she called chenfeng and had to take the mrt all the way back to clementi.
she's so dumb and embarrassing.
i shall pretend i dunno her...
haiz

my sis' birthday is on 1304...
dunno what to make to her.
my birthday is on 2304. (WINKWINK. u should get the hint.)
so cool ehh?
ugh...

i've got the 1.5km run tmr.
i dun feel like gg.
i think i sprained my ankle last netball training.
it hurts like crap.
i've got netball on friday.
my leg hurts.
ugh.
i need more sleep.
why cnt they make it like 50hrs/day, instead of 24hrs/day...
i really cnt get ANYTHING done in 24hrs...
ughhhh.
hoots...

ohh yehh.
and to the certain b*tch...
fishy u...
haha but im in a good mood today.
cause of mrperfect.
anyways...
i wna rename him.
he is now offically called mrpotato.
mrperfect sounds so weird.
anyways.
yehh im in a great mood cause if mrpotato.
so shant bash tt certain b*tch today...

jean.
p.s. mrpotato i miss u

26008

2008-03-26T05:48:00.001-07:00

If you love me, thank you!
If you hate me, fuck you!
adapted from firdaus' blog...

well.
today we went to comfirm the class tee.
blahh blahh blahh.
im frigging pissed off.
UGH
this next paragraph can be ignored.
parental guidiance is encouraged.

wtf.
the only reason tt i even TALK to you is because i duwan to make things difficult for us
the only reason i apologised is because i duwwan any hatred going on.
the only reason i talk to you is cause ur in my class.
the only reason i stooped so low and practically BEGGED for ur forgiveness was because i dint want any arguements taking place.
im just doing this to entertain you
but you've really done it this time...
you've blown off the top.
you've gone too far.
LIKE STOP ACTING UR ALL TT
WITH UR PERRRFECCTT BALLET MOVES
CAUSE U AINT PERECT
U AINT THE ONLY 1 ON EARTH LEARNING BALLET
so pls.
watch what you say.
cause 1 day you might just get killed.
you know what?
i hate the way u make use of ppl.
u low-down bitch.
PLS NOTE TT
i never said you were my friend, you're just a classmate.
ALSO NOTE THAT
you'll always stay a classmate but never a friend.
ugh.

to mr perfect.
well i know ur reading my blog.
secretly ehh?
well you know who you are.
no need for me to tell you.
yes its you.
dont pretend you dunno who you are.
cause i know deep down your heart tt you know tt im talking abtt you/
yes i know you.
yes im a chicken to not dare to tell you face to face.
yehh but im afraid.
im scared of how you will react.
im afraid tt me admiting tt i like you would harm the friendship in any way.
yes i cherish this friendship.
and even if i admitted,
what difference would it make?
like heelllooo.
you already hv a girlfriend.
what chances do i stand against?
so i guess you'll just hv to make do with this.
yehh so i hope tt this would be enough to convince you tt i love you.
to mrperfect,
i love you.

240308

2008-03-24T06:20:00.000-07:00

Things change, people change.

Looking at fione and shuping talk about the good old pri schh days, it struck me tt well. things will never be the same again. yes i've gotten over it, but still, there's this little voice in my head tt says "i wna go back to pri schh. I MISS PRI SCHH" it kindda still hurts. like what ashlie said on her blog, things change, people change. i agree. and i see it happening. i c ppl getting over pri schh, but i guess im still holding on, hoping tt someday many things will be the same again. hoping, wishing, waiting...

today was hell.
i almost ahem in schh today because of ahem.
it was so bad cause i trusted in ahem and even confided in him/her in the ahem.
it hurt my ahem so badly...
ahem was like pretending tt he/she totally forgot abtt ahem and i was like close to ahem.
UGH WHATS THE POINT OF A BLOG IF I CAN SAY WHAT I WNA SAY. UGH

jean

210308

2008-03-21T04:25:00.000-07:00

today fione/lenise/ying2/tseyu/zhenjun/lionel/melvin
came over to my hse to do the music project.
actually poor tseyu was the only 1 doing the project.
i was busy being impressed by lionel's clapping while push ups.
he could do the man's push ups then push his body off the floor and clap once!
OMG
pro...
doing the normal man's pushup is already hell.
)):
well then went to play bball.
i saw ahem there.
omg i HAD SOOOOO MUCH FUN PLAYING BBALL W AHEM LAHHHH
LOVE HIM/HER LOADS
soooo proooo
sooooo goodlooking
im jealous ...
haha shant continue
i shall comment on the practical ppl who refuse to tag when i dun blog
ugh.
haha
yehh i just rmbr
ahem is such a freaking #$(*&(#@
hoot her lahh.
i hate her so much tt i wna chop off her head and cook it in soup lahh...
UGH

p.s. everyday tt i see u is torture.
i've tried soo hard to forget u.
i tell myself how she's flirting w u and ur flirting back.
how much it hurts my heart.
i tell myself to give up.
but this little voice in my head still keeps shouting ur name
why does ur face have to constantly resurface in my brain?
WHY.
it hurts.
i've had enough of this.
i had freaking enough...
go away.
leave my brain...

jean

200308

2008-03-20T05:53:00.000-07:00

miss jean lin has just die-ed....
she's so tired tt she's practically falling asleep while typing this.

had alot of crappy stuff today.
first was cheena lesson.
omg .
guess what.
jean lin got FULL MARKS for her tingxie
can you believe it?
never in the history of history has jeanlin gotten FULLMARKS for tingxie.
omg im soo smart.
ohh and i thought i lost my cheena zhuoye.
was so tramatised when i found out tt i had to redo the ENTIRE zhuoye if i bought a new bk.
but eventually found it lahh.
it was in sixiu's locker.
i dint know why. lol.

ICT.
me,fione,lionel and tseyu spent practically the entire lesson gossiping abtt ahem
was so amused at how extremely wrong/lame the boys were.
after reccess was assembly.
i dint know msblim was there shouting at naughty students.
was rather shock when i entered the hall to find tt it was extremely solemn.
actually, to think of it, you hv to give msblim some credit.
she could easily silent a whole cohord.
i dunno hw. i guess she knows magic.
after tt it was english.
it was alright lahh.
had to do some rating worksheet.
we had to rate like from most evil to the least evil.
was laughing my ass off at some of the cute punishments tt the boys in my class had suggested.
next was lunch. after lunch was homecon.
i dint think moving a class up 5 lvls was difficult.
i cnt explain to you how extremely wrong i am.
ugh it stinks to hv to scream at u ppl.
cn u just co operation?
i was trying to make things easy for all of us.
i guess u just dint care.
well its all experience.
but being vicechair is fun.
yehh..
today was the presentation for homecons.
i HATE doing projects.
this next paragraph can be ignored.
parental guidiance is adviced

im telling you...
i HATE ppl who do NOT do any WORK and complain tt the WORK I DID was TERRIBLE.
i SERIOUSLY HATE IT
YOU PPL DID NOT HELP IN ANY WAY IN THE PROJECT.
IT WAS ALL DONE BY ME.
YET ALL YOU UNGRATEFUL PPL DO IS SCOLD ME.
WTF.
JUSTICE.
I HAD HALF A MIND TO JUST STROLL OUTTA THE ROOM AND LEAVE YOU
UNGRATEFUL SOULS STRANDED.
I WAS SOOOO PISSED OFF AND YOU STILL HAD THE NERVE TO COME ASK ME IF I WAS ANGRY.
WTF.
AT TT MOMENT ALL I WANTED/NEEDED TO DO WAS JUST TO SLAP YOU.
SLAP YOU ACROSS YOUR FUGLY FACE.
I HATE IT.
I HATE YOU.
bitch...

after schh was netball...
omg it was so tough.
i felt like crying.
i was exhuasted.
i was sick.
seniors are really darn pro.
1 day i will become joy/siying no.2
1 day all this hard work will pay off.
now all i hv to do is train hard and not complain.
its all for my own gd.
yes ...
I LOVE my netball seniors.
they're all soooooo hawt and PROO
ugh jealous of them.
well jean is gg to become exactly like tt.
4yrs down the road you ppl will c jeanlin playing in the national's team!!!!
haha
nhnt is really gd.
^^ pro.
impressed mannn.
i LOVE NHNT

jean

190308

2008-03-19T06:08:00.000-07:00

i'm back.
yes i know i haven't been blogging for awhile.
okayy maybe awhile is an understatement.
but yehh whatever.
this post is dedicated to
lim hui tien
ashlie chin
fiona ng
charinne ho
gladys tua
sherrin pok
ellie tan

i know we're all growing apart.
but i dint think it was sooo drastic.
it hurts to know/realise tt im not a part of ur lives anymore.
i know i cnt possible be a HUGE part.
but maybe a small part won't hurt, will it?
our relationships are STRAINED
i dint think it would EVER happn between us.
but i finally realise tt when i talk to yall.
silence becomes awkward.
it was NEVER like tt.
NEVER EVER.
but it finally happened.
yes. it hurts. yall may not realise, but yes. it hurts. for me .
it hurts alot.
i missed the times tt every thing was so simple.
i took the time tt i had w u ppl for granted.
i dint think it would end so soon.
but i guess we all just grew up.
just grew apart.
we hv new friends.
but i dint think we would forget our old friends so fast.
its just so quick, so abrupt.
i miss hugging yall.
i miss being annoying w yall.
i miss laughing w yall.
yes i know i hv new friends.
i know im selfish.
i want both my new and old friends.
but cnt i be selfish?
I WANT TO BE SELFISH
i want both...
sec schh is just so freaking different.
when i slow down,
i realise tt its nt as fun as pri schh.
im not being myself here at sec schh.
i hate nt being able to run.
i hate nt having anyone to play sports w.
i hate nt having anyone to cry to.
i hate nt having anyone to complain to...
i hate having not to be myself.
ppl here at nanhua are so protected.
so different from... US
i miss yall.
i miss yall sooo much.
i miss yall sooo much tt it hurts.
i miss yall sooo much tt it hurts so badly...
I HATE HAVING TO BE AWAY FROM YALL.
i miss yall.
i just do.
it hurts.
it just hurts.
i love those times we were tgt.
we were hving so much fun.
we trusted each other.
its sooo lonely here in nhhs.
no1 was from admps
no1 shares the same pri schh mates.
it's lonely. it's painful.
i'll never EVER forget all those fun we had w each other. I"LL NEVER FORGET.
i fucking hate being away from yall.
i miss yall.
i hope yall miss me as much as i miss yall.
i miss you.
im hurting.
do you see?
i hope you do.
i just hope so.

losted.
jean

010308

2008-02-29T20:57:00.000-08:00

yesterday was HORRIFYING
alright i'll start w thursday

thursday
had the stoooopid leadership training during enrichment till 4:30.
had games tt we had to co-operate to do
i tell u.
IT WAS TERRIBLE
after the whole thing my thigh muscles HURT
really badly HURT
then was netball.
netball was pure HELL.
im telling you.
stooopid ppl.
do not fucking plan a leadership training on the same day as netball.
it's stupid and lame.
with my aching legs
we had to run 15 rounds around the netball court
then we had to do some dodging
my stupid sportshoes was for jogging and not for netball
so had no friction
i kept sliding off.
ugh. im thinking of getting a new pair of sport shoes.
maybe tennis shoes.
well then next
IT WAS &*^#($#
we had to do some endurance training.
err 10 pushups, get up and run.
10 crutches, get up and run
10 leg kicking thingys, get up and run
10 stand up swatdown thingys, get up and run
3 sets of this.
it was murderous.
then we went shopping for class pinic tmr,
the boys INSISTED on getting on 5 bottles of drinks.
wtf.
5 bottles of drinks for 37 hungry kids?
I DUN THINK SO
i was like cursing at them and telling them tt it'll never be enough.
but they dint believe me.
-.-
after shopping
i finally went home w tseyu
guess wad time it was when i reached home?
8...
why does nhhs have to be so far away? UGH

friday
woke up at 5 realising it was too early
but was too late to go back to sleep
so decided to just be early
left home and got onto the mrt
reached bukitbotak at 6:25.
wtf
i was supposed to meet fione there at 6:45
ugh
then met up w tseyu and waited for fione
she finally came and we got onto her dad's car
on the way to west coast park it was raining dogs and cats
i really dint wna run cause of the aching muscles
it was aching even worst today
ugh..
reached there
it was drizzling
but they went ahead w the run
then was sec 1 girl's turn
we were supposed to wear some stupid green ting
then we started running
fione and me started out behind
soon she was missing
i started picking up pace
it felt great to run
then soon i was the first few ppl running
i was already panting
then i saw this group of ppl standing there
i started running as fast as i could
thinking tt it was the ending line
then when i passed the ppl
guess what they said??
"JIA YOU! DON'T STOP. 1KM LEFT"
wtfwtfwtf!!!
then i started walking
it became worrying as some girls we taking over me
so i started choinging agnn
then i walked.
then walked passed the netball seniors then they were like
"jean! what u doing ? dun walk! abit left! RUN !!!!"
all screaming
i lunged all i had and CHIONGED the last bit
then i passed the finishing line
and got a card tt said 13
OMG I CAME IN 13 IN SEC 1 GIRLS
YAY
then i fell to the floor
panting panting panting
that was the end of a murderous 3.5km run.
that was when i realised sth was wrong
i felt faint
and my legs were numb
but i mustered all the strength i had and staggered towards the tent to submit my name
then saw fione
OMG i was soooooooo proud of her!
she was soo fast!
althought it wasn't top 20, it was still good enough
well 4 netballers got into the top 20
me, laysiew, yiqing and clarissa.
lisa oso got in.
haha
then was captain ball's game
i really dint wna play
was really very tired and my legs were KILLING me
but i did
eventually got to top 4
but due to time constrain, we had to continue the games some other day
then prizing giving
then we went back
mmm
then me, zhenjun, fione and tseyu went outside to get a cab
sooo many nhhs students were flagging for cab.
stooopid we waited for a good 1 hr before a cab came
i was soooo FUCKED UP tired.
then got in
all of them fell asleep
my legs hurt too much
i could sleep.
then came to my hse
took turns to bath
then left for cwp
watched jumper
i had a few bites of lunch and dint eat anymore
then got home at abtt 7 and went to bed w/o dinner
woke up today at ardd 10.
well my leg hurt even more now
it's like
really bad...
ugh.
i think my legs are like dyiing or sth
its fucked up really bad...
jean

stop fliring w every1 , will u? i really cnt stand u. ur a stupid fucked up bitch how many times have i told u i really liked him? but yet u still kept flirting w him. FUCK u. u said u would stop. u dint. i've had enough. do wad u want. i dun care anymore. FUCK . all those stupid fucked up lies i believed. I FUCKING STOOD UP FOR U NOW WHAT DID U DO? STOP DENYING IT I"VE FUCKING HAD ENOUGH

270208

2008-02-27T05:33:00.000-08:00

alright this shall be a short post
friday is the road run...
tomorrow gna go get the food.
omg tmr's gna be a darn long day lahh.
i've got leadership training from 2:30-4:30.
then netball from 4:30-6p.m
then gg shopping for food w 1o5rians after tt .
w tseyu, lionel, melvin and yingying.
we're all gg on a DATE
haha
well really dunno if i wna go netball training
as in its REALLY fun
but its really really really tiring
and after tt i still hv tot go shopping
im really very tired.
i need the sleep.
ugh.
stressed mann.
ugh.
some1 PLS convince me to not ponn netball.
i know its BAD
HELP ME

mmm
last few days were blurry.
VERY blurry.
everyday was like FLYING past.
alot of things
errr random random stuff
oh yar.
the suckiest thing tt ever ever happened to be.
PLS BE PREPARED TO FLY OFF ALL YOUR SEATS
JEAN LIN FENG JUN FAILED ENGLISH
JEAN LIN FENG JUN FAILED LITERATURE
UGH.
i HONESTLY cnt believe it.
literature still alright.
BUT ENGLISH
MY STRONGEST SUBJECT
shock.
shock
shock
shock
shock
shock
shock
shock
shock
shock
shock
shock
shock
shock
shock

ugh.
and to my two very good friends.
i'm sryy for having come between the both of you
it really wasn't intentional.
it just tt both of you are great
its just complicating ... okayy?
i HONESTLY sryy.
i love the both of u.
and i want the both of u to love each other too.
i really dint mean it.
sryy
i'm trying to stop being the bitch.
IM SORRY

mmm well i really cnt possibly write completely abtt the past few days
its just really really long
and i really cnt rmbr wad i do each day.
sryy
okayy tts abtt it.
now on msn w ping and her ehem...
well gna go bed soon.
PLS SOME1 convince me to go netball!!
I REALLY WNA PONNNNN

jean

150208

2008-02-15T04:07:00.000-08:00

alright.
i know it's common test next week.
but EVERYONE needs a break
including myself.
so i'm vowing tt i'm blogging once today AND once only.
alright.

yesterday.
valentine's day
also known to couples as 'buy expensive gift for gf/bf day'
i got a bouquet of flowers from a secret admirarer and 3 boxes of chocolates from my boyfriend...(I WISH)
haha.
me and fione baked cookies.
special friends like shuping, hannah, joyce, rymond and junlei got 1 box of chocolates.
students of 1o5 each got 1 cookie wrapped in yellow and purple paper.
yupp.
i got A FEW candies from the consellors and netball seniors.
pathetic ain't it.
well i was soooo hurt when he asked fione to go into the classroom during lunch.
he said he had something to give her.
it was HORRIBLE
i walked away.
what else could i have done.
my heart was shattering inside of me.
i think shuping heard the cracking sound.
she went like " i know how it feels"
she doesn't...
really.
sometimes i really HATE my friends for being sooo beautiful.
people like fione and tien.
u REALLY have no idea how lucky u are to be soooo beautiful.
so the both of u.
PLEASE
ignore those little red dots on ur face.
because u are BEAUTIFUL just the way you are,
and nothing will be able to change tt, okayy?

today.
well... generally today was..... LONG
chi teacher dint come today.
i took the time to mug(actually fake mug)
alright i was FALLING ASLEEP
oh yehh and there was ms yeo's lesson.
i really LOVEEEE her lessons.
u ppl hv no idea how much she can make me laugh.
SERIOUSLY
well then had the STOOOPID total defence day training thing tt rymond pangsehed me.
)):
tt's all.
okayy so i'll leave u ppl w this.
dun miss me too much, okayy??

p.s. i love u.
i'm SERIOUS
you really have no idea how much i do.
u have no idea how i stare at the way u move.
then way u talk.
the way u so much care abtt her.
i just wish u knew.
but wait.
ur her's
and she's my bestfriend .
i can't do this to her..
but what did SHE do to u?
u care so much abtt her
but have u tot of what really happens behind the scene?
what she really does without you knowing?
i sooo much want to tell u.
to prove to u how much she has hurt u secretly
but then you'll be hurt too.
oh no.
this is really too deep....
to she.
u have no idea it's u.
but if u finally guess it,
well ur a great friend.
but have u evr thought of him?
have u every respected him?
have u ever felt guilty of doing all those things?
have u ever stopped to see how much he appreciates u?
HAVE U EVER EVEN CARED?

jean

020108

2008-02-01T04:35:00.000-08:00

fione being irratating

fione and rymond... say AWWWW

joyce, me and fione

omg.

11 whole days.

tts how long since i last blogged

so much happened since then.

in summary school's great.

except the "get caught everyday for bad attire" part

its not fair how these teachers catch me EVERY SINGLE day cause my shirt's not tucked in and my skirt's folded.

its just UNFAIRheellooo look at ** ****her skirt is like HALF of mine.

but she's NEVER caught

never was never

will beWHY??

because of her effing act innocent face.

UGH

so friggin pissed off.

alright.

i've GOT so much more to complain about if i want to continue

but i dun want to.

so forget it.

yehh im offically a NETBALLER

netball training was TOUGH

first training was last webnesday and saw tt the POOR weiruan was being punished.

coach went screaming like"WEIRUAN. DOWN TEN"

lol then she fell on the floor and started doing push ups.

poor thing)):

but well.

was fun

i'm really deprived of sleep.

ugh.

i think i'll go sleep soon.

cya around

p.s I MISS APS PPL SO FRIGGING MUCH

i miss 6courage

random-.-

dunno why just suddenly.

haiz

jean

050108

2008-01-14T01:24:00.000-08:00

heyy readers(if there is any)
sryy for not blogging for sooo long.
been very caught up w schh.
really stressful/tiring
well went for oc(orientation camp) last friday and saturday
was really long
i forgot alot of things.
just rmbr tt there was LOADS of water games.
cause we had to do a 12 station game
then like 7/8 stations were water games.
then i was wearing my dripping wet oc shirt from 8am-8pm
was like sneezing all the way
then it rained
then FINALLY we were allowed to change to dry clothes
bt cnt bath
just change
was darn tired then
aft tt was camp fire(it didnt exist)
i dint noe tt the few pieces of red paper standing up in the middle of the hall was supp to b the campfire.
haha then had disco.
then after tt
guess wad
HUANTED HOUSE
wtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtfwtf

so frm 10 we wait till 11:30pm in the hall for my grp's turn.
then chenfeng was telling ghost stories
most of the stories were just stupid BOO in the end 1s
-.-
i was like sitting behind lionel and the poor boy's shirt was like pulled by me));
SRYY LIONEL
then fione was beside zheyou(WOOTS)
zheyou looked soooo happy
^^
then STUPID y***y*** bitched her way in the circle
then kept acting cute
WTF
then i sian diao then walked away
lucky 10mins ltr our turn to go into the huanted mansion!!
omg
4 rms
1st rm concillor charmaine told us a story abtt two lovers who died in the schh campus(juliet & christopher)
then 2nd rm was juliet's rm
wtf
was darn dark
then i was like shivering the whole time and GRABBING on joyce's shirt
SORRY JOYCE
then joyce wanted to prove to me everything in the rm was fake
so she shine her fon in juliet's face
then the girl acting as juliet stood up and BOO
wa lau
i was so freaking shocked
then i screamed darn loudly
as we walked outta the rm i was just really shivering really badly
then suddenly i started crying
haiya
then dint go christopher's rm
then went to the last rm
then christopher /juliet death room.
then left
haiya
now like everyday hv night mare.
slept at ard 2
girls slept in the hall/guys in classroom
wtf
gt some extremely considerate girls woke up at 5 and turned on the lights and was like shouting
wtf

day 2
breakfast
disco
etcetc
then was area cleaning
wtf
then went back to class to clear up
then the class flag
ms poon ask who wna keep it
then chenfeng took it
then 5 mins ltr y***y*** went up to chenfeng and demanded him give her the flag
then chenfeng dunno
then yy was like jumping ardd and screaming
then chenfeng gave in
then guess what tt ungrateful bitch said
"walau u class president oso nv do anything. i vice chair very poor thing le"
F***
i was sooooo pissed off when i heard yy say tt to chenfeng
i stormed outta the class rm
omgomgomgogmgomgomgogmomg
bitches will forever stay bitches.
i was SOOOO FRIGGIN PISSED OFF
ugh.

jean

050108

2008-01-05T06:17:00.000-08:00

a veryveryvery happy birthday to the beautiful kim and pearlyn. all the best for 2008.

alright.
i <3 NHHS !!
alright...
here comes the long story.

020108
anticipation grips me as i wake up for schh...
omg i was OFFICALLY a nanhuarian.
whoopy!!
well put on my schh u(all white)
and well brushed teeth etcetc (bORIINNNNNGGG)
then left for schh.
my dad INSISTED on driving me to schh on day 1.
when was like climbing the mountain ,
wa darn alot of ppl.
so my dad just dropped me outside schh
oh yarr did i mention tt vivien oso came w us??
well then ltr
went into the schh and looked at the notice board.
i am in class 1/5!!
omgomgomg
then i hung ardd outside the canteen w vivien.
she was darn nice she kept talking to me.
haha
thanks
then some stupid song was played then i saw like darn alot of ppl starting to walk towards the parade square.
omg i was sooooo lost lahh!!
then some schh consellor told me we had to meet in the canteen.
so i went there and looked for 1/5.
sat down and looked ardd.
omg first inpression was like.
WTF
all so geek.
ugh!!
then after tt was leaded to the parade square by our dear class consellor.
we sang, actually i MOUTHED, the national anthem blahblah blah.
then walked towards class etcetc.
omg im darn lazy.
ugh then alot of rubbish lahh.
all forget.
IM LAZY
well story line is liddat
i was scolded by mrs b lim on day 1(wtf?!)
made new friend =yingying
dint really like her.
she was like pangsei ing me when she had her pri schh mates.
then no friend come find me.
ugh

second day
cnt remember .
gamesgamesgames rubbish lahh.
made new FRIENDS
-fione (totally hot/pretty)
-rachel(lets be crazy tgt!!)
-hannah(omg funny girl!!)
-chen feng(err no comment??)
-shannon(wtf. )
-cute boy(so sryy i dunno ur name!!!)
-stephanie(pretty quiet)
-wei ting(haha kind girl!!)
tts abtt it...

day 3.
flag making
class pinic
i was so ****ing pissed off w uhm cause she's such a uhm.
ugh...
i STILL am pissed alrite!!

day 4 - a.k.a today-.-
went to schh for cca fair.
omggomgomgogmogmgomg netball rules.
^^
then came back
sleep
woke
chicken winged
hung arounded
chatted w fione abtt winkwink.
hahahahah
i love tt name.
^^
we talked soooo long abtt winkwink.
haha so amusing.
alright gg to bed nw.
too lazy lahh.
haiya...)):

jean

010108

2008-01-01T03:11:00.000-08:00

HAPPPPPPPPY new year
wishing all of u all the best for 2008.

well,
tmr's the start of a whole NEW phase of my life.
new friends
new foes
new teachers
new environment.
its like gg pri 1 again.
only tt im nt tt annoying anymore (hopefully all of u can agree w me on this!!)
but well its just tt.
i'm scared.
what if i dun make any mates??
what if im a outcast??
what if everyone hates me??
what if i cnt do well in my studies?
what if i cnt fit in??
well im just scared.
im just hoping tt everything will turn out right.
im just hoping tt this post was just me worrying for nth.
i just hope.
secondary schh ain't like primary schh.
its more mugging.
its more cca.
its longer schh hrs.
its more stressful.
its nt like in pri schh where everyone knows everyone.
this time everything will be different.
i won't know anyone.
i wont even know where the toliet is.
)):
it'll be difficult,
but i hope tt this brand new four years will be a meaningful one.
i hope tt i'll make friends i'll nv forget.
i hope tt everything will be great.
i just HOPE

i hope u understand.
i like u alot.
but u dun , right?
well stop lying.
i can see through ur phoney eyes.

jean

311207

2007-12-31T05:22:00.000-08:00

alright ppl.
i know im once agnn at home during a big occasion.
just like how i was at home at night during christmas.
actually im supposed to be at church now w maralene,
but im just tootoo tired.
haiz lazy le.
anyways happy early new yr...
all the best for a new year^^
mmm
well today morning went to ocbc bank.
was actually supp to create/make/get a nets card.
but had to bring birthcert.
my poor mum tot onloy had to bring passport,
so didnt bring my birthcert.
haiz went back and looked for tt little piece of importance.
intially tot it was lost!!!
well then went bball.
**** man...
we were supp to meet at 3.
i reached the bball court at exactly 3,
only to realise the darn court was totally DESERTED
waited
waited
waited
waited even more.
finally tien called.
"wei?? jean arhh. ehh i cnt come sia. i very full just now eat buffet. 4:30 then come"
****
i put down the ****ing phone and msged nicholas and weiruan asking them to come ltr.
then went skating w vivien/vanessa...
omg today is vannessa's b'day!!
well then was skating ard feeling real sad.
then saw nicholas walking towards the bball court.
went and was kindda shock he was so early(4:39)
haha
then went and sat down and watched the boys bball.
at ardd 5:20 called tien and she didn't pick up.
haiz was ****ing mad.
so just went back to vannessa's b'day party.
then nicholas ask me go back...
then abit ltr tien finally replied
"sry my dear i on my way le"
wtf.
i went back down.
bballed .
went back to the party.
hung ard.
talked.
came home cause i was soooo tired.

tien.
u were actually right when u lied to them saying i was mad.
u've known me for so long.
im sryy if im over reacting.
but HEYY
who likes waiting aimlessly for 2 hrs ++??
well and THANKS for allowing sean/boon to lie to me.
i guess i know who's much more of a friend to u.
and tien.
u always scold me for over reacting/taking things too seriously.
yehh i put on a cover.
i appeared i didnt care.
well actually it kindda hurt.
it kindda hurt tt u bailed out on me for boon/sean/pok.
it kindda hurt tt u ignore the fact tt i kept saying tt i wanted really badly to bball yesterday.
it kindda hurt tt u weren't sincere in ur apology.
it kindda hurt tt u took it like it didn't matter.
it kindda hurt tt when pok didn't wna bball, u looked for me.
it just hurts.
but heyy.
thanks for being such a great friend ...
thanks for being there.
thanks for everything you've done for me.
i guess tt all the great things you've done for me is much more important then this incident.
thanks.

am i some kindda second tire??
do u really care??
stop lying, will u??

jean

301207

2007-12-30T04:16:00.000-08:00

omg i'm sooooooo ****ing pissed off...
shan't elaborate to avoid the use of inappropiate language.
okayy so yesterday met ashlie at cwp at SUPPOSING 12.
my dear ashlie msged me at 11:50 "are u there already??'
i thought tt she was there alr,
so rushed all the way to cwp.
went to the library only to NOT find ashlie there.
called her and realised tt she was DARN late.
so after tt met up w her.
went down to cwp and pastamaniced.
note to self - never eat creamy chicken again. it is HORRID
so half-way through suddenly was like "ehh wna ask fion to come?"
(we were planning to hv a movie marathon at ashlie's hse)
then called fion.
met up w her.
went to the cd store to rent,
only to realise tt we had to pay a deposit of $10 for every ONE of the cds.
so if we rented 8 cds,
doesn't tt mean tt we had to pay $80 deposit.
WHAT KIND OF BUISNESS IS THIS
ugh.
so DID NOT rent cds.
went up to ashlie's hse.
hung around and monopolyed/paydayed...
then after tt tien came.
we watched dead silence.

beware the stare of mary shaw,
for she had no chidren , only dolls.
and if you see her in your dreams,
remember to never, ever scream.

tt show was darn good...
as in good = scary.
i was GRABBING(practically squashing) tien's hand the whole time.
well after tt fion went back
then had vegetarian dinner.
(yuck)
then went down bballing.
but the court was occupied by some bballers and some kids doing silat(wtf!!!)
tien went home and me, ash and nikki went back to their place.
we bathed the dog peachie...
then i personally bathed myself.
after tt we watched simpsons...
next came FRIENDS.
omg we must hv watched like 1000 episodes of it lahh.
we watched till 4:30a.m(NO JOKE OKAYY)
then both me and my poor eyes really cnt tahann le.
then went to bed.
was rudely awaken just 5hrs later by the annoying dog.
then went to the coffee shop and brunched.
went to tien's place(shan't tell the reason why. i'm too lazy. it's too long a story)
and finally went home.
well slept and woke up at around 2.
i had to go some church function.
(to everyone tt i told tt it was actually a chi opera, IM SORRY. i messed up the events)
yehh nw im home.
finally.

you and your fucking lies.
i can't stand it...
stop lying.
admit the truth lahh.
stop being a complete bastard that you already are.
i just can't understand why i still like you.
after all this fucking shit you made me go through.
why the hell do i even care ....
fuck the world...

jean

281207

2007-12-28T06:08:00.000-08:00

heyy peeps.
well hv been going to malaysia for the past few days.
so didn't blog.
well just went golfing (technically i didn't go. my parents went. i went to the gym)
shan't elaborate.
anyways.
to tt kiddo in my tag.
heyy .
i KNOW who you are.
cut the crap,
stop the act.
alright??

didn't you see??
don't you realise??
every thing tt i've done,
it was all for you.
it just hurts darn alot to see you w her.
flirting.
everything you say to her hurts my heart.
i just cnt stand it anymore.
it just HURTS ...
love sucks lahh.

jean

261207

2007-12-26T04:50:00.000-08:00

alright.
so today planned to go malaysia.
as usual,
dad mum n sis were going golfing and i'd hang ardd in the library in the club.
i HATE golfing.
i can't understand the thrill of hitting a miniature ball w a long stick.
well actually planned to hit the gym today.
due to the fact tt i would be running 2.4km instead of 1.6km nxt yr.
well dad took half day leave.
he came back home ardd 11 then we left the hse.
when we arrived at the checkpt then we STUPIDLY realised tt we forgot to bring dad's passport.
wth.
then dad was so mad .
then went back to sg.
err went cwp to hv jack's place for lunch(sis' treat)
err then went national treasuring ...
the movie was gd.
shan't elaborate.
i INSIST that all of u go watch it.
yehh then aft tt went home.
went down to bball a tiny weeny bit/.
went home, dnr etcetc.
haiz.
my interesting life.
how PATHETIC.
SIX MORE DAYS TO START OF SCHOOL
omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomggomgomgomgomgomg
im going sec schh soon.
im gna be wearing the nan hua high uniform in six more days.
im gna be able to mock primary school kids w full authority.
WOOTS.
but on the other hand,
what if i make no friends??
what if i'm the odd one out??
what ifs fill my head...
it's just gna be difficult.
difficult trying to make new friends again.
difficult trying to fit in again.
difficult trying to know everyone all over again.
its just the vicious cycle happening agn.
)):

i'm trying to forget.
its not easy.
all the things you've told me.
all the times i've had w u..
they might be just crap to u,
but for me,
i'll keep all those memories close to my heart.
all i can do now,
is just wish tt you'll notice me.
hope tt you'll realise the hurt.
well maybe its just a dream im living in...
maybe i'll finally wake up one day and realise that we'll never be.
but for now, i'd still like to stay asleep.

jean

251207

2007-12-25T06:28:00.000-08:00

i KNOW its pathetic to blog on christmas.
i KNOW its extremely loser to do so.
i KNOW that it makes me seem like i've got nth better to do.
but i am still doing it anyways.

was happily asleep till sis woke up.
she DELIBERATELY make loads of noise when she did.
obviously i woke up right??
then hung around for awhile being grouchy at sis.
awhile later(i've got no idea why) my parents woke up.
so everyone gathered around the pathetic 1m tree...
below were a few presents.
i got a cute painted ladybug from sis(no idea why)
a diamond tinker bell brooch from dad(that i doubt i'll EVER wear)
nth from mum.
so got changed,
and left for brunch.
i had woonton noodles from brunch.
was sooo full aft less then half the bowl(no idea why again)
then aft brunch dad drove us to nan hua high
(cause dad doesn't know how the schh looks like/how far the schh is from home)
then aft tt went some ulu golf course to get dad's christmas gift
(his ping golf club)
then aft tt went queenways
maybe cause mum felt bad tt she didnt get me a present(she presumes tt the crumpler she got me a few weeks ago would be my christmas gift)
she got me a converse schh shoe.
its white but i LOVE my schh shoes.
yehh aft tt sis got new sport shoes ...
err mum was the only 1 who went home empty handed.

aft tt went home,
took a change of clothes,
hung around for awhile,
then left home to meet tien at the bball court.
we went there n to our amazement, hanlong was there.
then he was like mailto:&*%5E#*&@ing.
haiz
shan't say it.
well so hung around for awhile, then we went back home(my hse) for dnr.
then when we got back to the bball court we realised jared/weiruan weren't there anymore.
realised that they went 717 to play,
then went there to find them.
bballed(ALOT)
finished my 2L of water(QUICKLY)
bought 5 bottles of 1.5L water(CHEAPLY) each bottle was 40cents lahh! wtf.
then went home(TIREDLY)
that's my christmas.
yehh.

I'd like to thank god for letting in great people like
-daddy
-daddy
-daddy
-mummy
-mummy
-mummy
-jie
-jie
-jie
-huitien
-huitien
-ashlie
-fiona
-charinne
-gladys
-sherrin
-ellie
-yanfang
-aldrich
-qixuan
-chyi tat
-hari
-nazirah
-pamela
-marcus
-sooraj
-lydia
-xinyi
-jason
-daryl
-bengyew
-quanrui
-esther
-terence
-jinhui
-jordan
-pearlyn
-max
-woonkueng
-zuhilmi
-peixuan
-mengern
-kuangxiang
-hockseng
-andrew
-hafiz
-sheryl
-christie
-yongzhang
-menghon
-wilson
-sophia
-charmaine
-jieyi
-jiaen
-lingshuang
-huiwen
-shannon
-mindy
-peicun
-liyi
-peiyee
-adrian
-firdaus
-aronn
-yongcheung
-nikki
-ben
-gabriel
-kim
-nicholas how
-nicholas teo
-nicholas darren
-nicholas chan
-nicholas chang
-maralene
-alex
-alicia
-bernice
-dashalynn
-joel see
-nigel
-teacher majella
-joel moo
-vin
-MDM SNG
-sherilyn
-weiruan
-jared
-gerald
-calvin
-elaine
-zhixiang
-liwei
-yaoquan
-yaoqun
-roy
-sean
-shawn
-casper
into my life

i've finally gotten over you.
maybe. well maybe only lahh...
to his love(her) thanks for always being there.
all the best. thanks for everything...
to him. thanks for allowing me to hv fun ard u.
thanks for making me laugh so much.
i love u.
well now i LOVED u...

till then,
jean

241207

2007-12-24T05:20:00.000-08:00

heyy all.
^^
well today went cwp iamLEGENDING w tien, ah boon, nicholas and eugene..
yehh so was rudely awakened at 10am by nicholas' fon call.
"ehh jean. i today coming horr."
a grouchy jean replies "orhh."
hung up.
yehh woke up.
hung ard for awhile.
took a quick bathe to settle my dry/split-ended hair from yesterday's bball.
then left home for cwp.
thought that i was wayyyyyy early and was planning to go library 1st.
little did i noe tt i would c tien infront of kfc waiting...
lol so went up to get the tickets.
mmm 5 tickets.
i PROUDLY paid first ^^
then went down to popular to get some markers.
den went even DOWNER to ground lvl meet eugene...
then hung ard awhile waiting for nicholas and nicholas(boon)
and u'll never guess who we saw while waiting....
MDM NG!!!
talked to her and told her what schh we were going too.
omg i cnt believe it..
i miss pri schh sooo much.
haiz sec schh's starting in 10, 9, 8, ...
EIGHT DAYS
omg.
okayy back to the pt.
err yehh met up wit them.
kfced
time zoned.
lated for movie
pee'd.
then went in to watch the movie
wanted to watch national treasures bt tien just REFUSED to watch it.
yehh so watched err iamlegend.
omg the movie's REAL gd.
^^
like super duper gd.
the graphics were great lahh.
i was like covering my eyes for half of the time.
stupid nicholas kept throwing pop corn at me n tien n he kept BOOING us.
yehh so aft the movie
time-zoned
waited
then left.
some details that i'd rather not go into.
)):

i guess it was just never meant to be for us.
i just HOPED..
well all i wna say is.
i like u alot.
i hope u understand...
im really hurt today...
didn't u realise??
i guess nt.
u were too busy flaunting at her.
well..
i guess life's nv fair.
to her(you know who u are)
dun worry.
you'll forever stay as my goodest friend.
no boy will ever be able to ruin our friendship.
no matter how much i like him...
and if her is reading this
i just want to say.
thanks for being such a great friend for the past 2 yrs.
i hope this friendship will last ...

jean

231207

2007-12-23T03:42:00.000-08:00

heyy peeps.
yehh today received my 1st holy communion...
stupid lahh.
i forgot tt it was really formal de.
then i wore my skinny jeans n a shirt tt says "mind your own bisnus and stop reading my shirt"
lol then was soooo ps lahh.
haiz.

then came home and ate woonton noodles.
err then watched totally spies till three thirty^^
went bball w tien...
tien told me she'd be there at 3:30.
)):
went there only to find jared, yao quan, roy ...
then abit ltr pok n boon came.
talked to pok abtt him...
mm then vannessa and vivien came w this 2 girls i dunno..
then started match...
oh yarr forgot, and before start match err nicholas came...
yehh then matched ...
half way through at abtt FOUR O CLOCK miss limhuitien strolled in...
arghh.
then aft awhile it started raining.,
went under the block and took off my sport shoes and went back under the rain ...
bball 2v2 w tien , yaoquan n casper.
was darn fun.
yehh then went in cause i was darn cold.
then casper went home n then 2v2 agnn w roy, yaoquan n tien..
yehh was loads n buckets of fun lahh.
^^
tmr going i am legending w tien , and maybe boon n nicholas.
haiz kindda sick now.
sniffing n coffing like crazy...

i can't understand..
why do you still exist??
well u do in my head..
it just hurts me so much that ur in love w her ...
well but what can i do?
just looking on from behind the shadow.
hoping.wishing.dreaming.
if YOU ever read this,
i just want to tell u.
i love you.
i hope you understand..

jean.
note to self- TIEN IS A BOOBIE

221207

2007-12-22T02:11:00.001-08:00

Im BACKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
from living under a rock.
to all those who missed me so much,
IM BACK
^^
anyways.
here.
i got 245+2 for psle.
a PATHETIC 245+2 for psle...

opted for nan hua high.
got in ...
im now offically a NANHUARIAN
jean the nanhuarian,
sounds good, doesn't it??
^^
jieyi and charm also opted for nan hua.
but didn't get it.
haiz now im the ONLY 1 in admps to get into nan hua.
kindda regret it now.
was really lonely..

yesterday.
arrived at nan hua abit late...
err ard 8:36..
went into the sch.
im telling u.
the sec1 registration was DARN DARN DARN grand in nan hua high lahh.
there were like npcc personell outside the schh(i think it's npcc)
and like schh consellors all over the schh
saw charm's sis on the way to the hall.
then she was like "heyyyyy!! jean!! wa only one again frm admps ehh??"
at first i was like.
wtf..
i stared at her then ehh
realised she looked way alot like charm.
so knew it was charm's sis.
then i laughed ...
was sooo shocked.
went to settle down in the ULTRA GINORMAS AIRCONDITIONED hall.
and like ardd 8:50 then the principal came in.
he crapped till like 10:30 lahh.
then some other teacher came in and talked abtt the tablet pc programme.
then saw loads of geeks ardd me starting to get interested.
they were like.
"omg i think i can get in lahh..."
duno wad crap lahh.
then aft tt waited for registration.
haiz was so lonely.
was msging nicholas chang n talking to ash on the fon.
so sad.
a couple of nan hua pri schh girls infront of me was like talking abtt me..
saying i dunno wad trying to act darn popular lidat.
stoopppiiddd or stooooppppiiddd??
)):

haiz darn sad.
so freaking lonely in that freak schh in the middle of nowhere.
looked sooo pathetic lahh.
haizz...
today the whole day was like thinking.
ALOT
wondering if opting for nan hua was a HUGE mistake...
i hope it isnt,,
well life isn't always fair, i guess...

anyways
anyone interested to go watch national treasure w me??
i really wna watch the movie
heard it was darn good.
but no1 wna go w me.
i ask tien then she kept like giving excuses..
)):
msg me ...
whoever wna go okayy??

i hate myself for being so pathetic.
why cnt i just learn to forget u.
but however hard u try, u always manage to appear again...
why??
why me of all ppl...
yesterday left me a terrible impression of u.
no matter how hard i try, i still cant forget u.
why??
forget it...
this section shouldn't be here anyways.
no1 would bother to read it...
i shouldn't waste my time typing this, but i still secretly wish u would read this...

till then,
jean

150907

2007-09-15T05:44:00.000-07:00

my day was perfect
but my special someone ruined it...
i was just being nice...
i thought tt perhaps you were just tired tt day
but no you snapped at me again today
do you know how hurtful it is for me?
do you understand the pain?
i SERIOUSLY doubt so
hurt so badly tt i'll never be able to love again..
you just don't get it right?
i think you should know how much i like you right?
i think you should be able to sense it right?/
but you still ignore
you still hurt me
today is the day tt i give up
move on.
forget....

130907

2007-09-13T04:11:00.000-07:00

i am SOSOSOSOOSOSOSOSO friggin maddddddddddddddddd
SHAWN ONG _ _ _ himself.
shall not speak of the word.
i cnt believe it
is he seeking attention or something?
when i confronted him he just act as if nothing was DARN WRONG
SHAWN ONG
if u EVEREVER read this,
all i want to tell you is

i really care about you
if you really are stress you can talk to me
i'll be there.
do NOT _ _ _ yourself........
it hurts me on seeing that alright??
i'll be there....

so shocked today
asked peicun wad was his score...
average was 91.8% lahhh!
almost 10 marks higher then our class' highest...
which happens to be 82%
and is scored by yours truely!
my mum was like darn happy when i told her i was first...
first time in my 6 yrs of education tt i've been in 1/2/3
((:

100907

2007-09-10T04:24:00.000-07:00

this is going to be a short post.
school's just only started again and i'm just BUMMED
so much work
englishmathsciencesupplimentoryclassestutionchurchballetchinesetutionhighermothertongue
and i HAVE to juggle all that in 1 week...
inclusive of sleeping okayy!
and homework
and assignments...
i'm not getting enough of sleep.
i want to sleep.
i have tution tomorrow,
but really wondering whether i should go tomorrow.
feel like coming home to sleep...
but then,
i need tt tution
MY SCIENCE!
1 more mark to A
74)):
found out tt st nicholas girls' agr is 252
and anderson's is 249....
how am i going to get in to this schools w a pathetic 246 for prelims?!?!????
arghh.....

the STUPID pre-PSLE paper is starting tomorrow
english
i am SERIOUSLY against this pre-psle paper.
with only about 3 more weeks to psle,
this pre-psle paper is just wasting time.
i doubt tt the teachers will even have time to finish going through it.
so its just DUMB
waste of time
collation of stress.
darn the stupid pre-psle...

next monday's injection day,
and after tt on the SAMEDAY will be the dumb pre-psle math paper.
makes PERFECT sense right??
arghhhhhh!!!!!!!

off to mug my ass off...

060907

2007-09-06T07:51:00.000-07:00

i know i shouldn't be doing this.
i know i should be doing something more meaningful than this right now
something like mugging.
but i'm not.
i'm bored/tired/grumpy
just let me blog okayy???
PSLE is coming in 26days and ending in 33days..
omg i so can't wait!!(for it to end, not start...)
when causeway point w mum and sis today
before tt was tution
blahblahBLAH
all crap-.-
shall not continue...

even though its going to be less than 4 months before i get into a secondary sch,
it seems miles away.
all the ppl arond me are starting to make plans about their future sch
and there doesn't seem to be anyone like me
nowhere to go
no plans.
i don't get it..
why make so many decisions now and be terribly dissapointed later?/
why not just mug REAL hard now and make all the decisions later...
its just weird.

looking forward to next yr
i really wonder what it'll be like in secondary school
will miss all the times now.
but still.
time cannot be stopped.
some memories this yr i'd rather forget
others i hope i'll always remember
)):

040907

2007-09-04T06:34:00.000-07:00

feeling down and out right now...
nothing goes right today...
i woke up and accidently dropped my phone into a bowl of water and it died out on me.
i went to school to tell my supposed to be friends but they just appluaded me.
great friends??
i doubt so.
have been keeping this in for soo long.
i've had just about enough of them...
vaglurities, critism, thinking you're prefect, mocking others, pressuring me to do things tt i REALLY don't want to, i've had just about ENOUGH
went back home and quarrel with my mum
came back and found out tt he actually found me as a buggish pest.
rather amusing day, wasn't it???
full of crapping rubbish....
everything just has to happen in one day doesn't it??
now i don't know what to do..
it really made me stop and wonder really really deeply.

what is life for??
what's it's porposed??
why do we wake up everyday in the morning??
i'm not viewing this questions as like question of sucuide.
more of curiousity.
like why???
why this and not tt??
why here and not there??
questions flood my mind...
millions of them..
like why did he have to pour cold water over my already extremely cold day??
suddenly finding myself stare out of the world wondering "what ifs...."
i guess life is just like tt.
full of ups and downs.
but why does MY life consist of downs and never ups??
in love, in school, in education, in ballet...
i guess its just how it makes uniquely jean.

i know dealing with heartbreaks is just one of the downs in life.
but why now??
why me??
why him??
i don't understand a lot of this.
one of which is this.
i guess its like tt ain't it??
hurt...
nothing expresses it...
NOTHING
nothing in the whole..
off to think,
cya all...
jean

020907

2007-09-01T21:56:00.000-07:00

URGH
i had a sudden urgh to blog today.
i don't know why.
i guess its the stress of PSLE working on me...

teacher's day
was darn fun this year!!
arrived at school at around 6:30
had exactly promised fiona to reach at 6:20
but was late(as USUAL)
RAN all the way to our classroom
was still really dark and i was really spooked.
then turned on the lights and started doodling on the whiteboard.
fiona started on her dedication on the HUGE GINORMAS card.
then esther came.
then gladys came.
then pei xuan came.
THEN FINALLY
at 6:45,
a groggy looking ashlie arrive W/O our card!!!!!!!!!!!!!
she took one part of the card home and never brought it back!!
darn it!
i was so flustered and nervous
she last minute-d the card
and it still was fine...
went to the hall dripping with sweat and 2seconds before being late....
did the dumb acers' day exercise.
then when everyone was picking up their bags me and ashlie said tt we had to go to the loo.
then we RANRANRANRAN to the classroom
inserted the cd and waited and waited and wait for the dumb song to load
the stupid computer was so old and slow and mdm sng arrived before the song started playing...
not exactly what we were planning for...
BUSTED
played the song and was all emotional then((:
then everyone presented their gifts to mdm sng
alot of ppl gave her FOOODD
MUAHAHA
sabotaged her...
it was then tt i finally realised.
this is going to be the last few months tt i'll be here.
i doubt i'll ever be going back.
it was then tt emotions i couldn't describe overwhelmed me.
nothing could describe what i felt.
even myself can't tell.
sad?
happy?
sorrowful?
elated??
i don't know
went for chinese class.
mr yap was so shocked when i gave him the pineapple tarts.
he was like "ni zhi ji zhuo de??"
translated = you made it by yourself.
the answer was nope.
me and my mum made it TOGETHER
then we had chinese class as pernormal(BOO)
then during recess went to put mdm chan's present in her locker.
after recess we went back up to the hall and had the teacher's day celebration.
was great and involved throat-killing cheering and loads of laughter.
the whole school cohard was really HIGHHHH
it was darndarndarndarndarndarndarndarn fun
then after school me, gladys, fiona, mindy and ashlie played spider web for 20mins.
gladys kept pestering us tt she wanted to play it.
i don't know why.
must have been a wired connected wrongly in her
saw loads of hunks in our school.
i really couldn't believe our school had so many handsome/pretty ppl in the past.
look whats happening now...)):

came home and ate mcdonalds for lunch..
then went to play basketball with terence and jinhui...
they looked sooo cute
so short and cute
haha
then went to get some drinks when kx called.
he came and some ppl took over our court.
sat at the playground and listened to music.
then CME called and said he wanted to come.
it was then tt i decided i wanted to go home.
i knew if i stayed i would start quarreling with him again.
stood up to leave when i saw him coming...
((:
i walked towards the lift and guess who i saw???
KIM!!!
chatted and went home......
tired and exhuasted i ploped on the bed and wished i would NEVER wake up
but i did in the next morning..

went to church carrying two HUGE bottles of extremely heavy coke.
then we had a test...
we're supposed to look up for words from the bible
was copying maralened/alex the WHOLE time...
then we had the party.
teacher brought sandwiches tt no one ate.
joel was holding the paper plates and piling it with curry puffs .
vince was whining cause i drink from the huge bottle of coke and my lips touched the cover.
haha.
was really funnnnnnnnnnnnnn
bernice was like...
alright.
except tt i was still mad at her...
-.-

went for ballet and sweated my ass off again due to the fact tt huixian has been missing ballet classes.
and we had to repeat and repeat the steps.
)):
went to the sony expo thing with my family.
dad and sis went to look for a new laptop while mum and me went shopping.
i bought a new jacket and a pair of green jeans...
i was wondering.
was the shop L.P zone??
or I.P zone??
must go and check it out.
now i'll go mug
and hope i do well enough for PSLE to get into ST.nicholas...
)):

270807

2007-08-27T02:59:00.000-07:00

today totally ROCKED
feeling sooooooo high now!!!
guess what world??
i got 92/100 for math!!!!!!!!
i never expected this!!!
before i went up to collect my paper
i was like turning around and saying to tien
tt like "die already... i was over-confident. sure darn low 1!!"
and i got this...
i practically dropped dead...
i thought there was maybe a mix-up in the papers...
cause i always STINKED at math...
darn it....
but couldn't seem too happy.
then i would have looked like a complete retard
my almost bestie got only 70++
the last exam she got 96...
so she was darn dissapointed...
its going to be alright ashlie!!!
mug HARDER
harder then you'll EVER EVER mug...
alright??? ((:
there was a lot of noticable mistakes in my paper....
1hr after 8:45a.m was 10a.m
but still.
let me boast a bit alright??((:
english paper 1
continuous writing- 34/40
situational writing-12/15
im really dissapointed with my situational writing results..
)):
expected a 15!!
and this is going out to kim...
darling i'm SOOOOOOOOO proud of u!!!
u improved in ALL your results!!!
don't fret!!
your doing GREAT
study hard((:
chi paper 2 booklet A-42/50
science booklet A-48/60
i was over-confident...
took the science paper too lightly...
i thought i did alright the last time so i'll do alright now..
but i didn't....
i've got to stop letting my confidence get the better of me...
english over all i got 81/100
first in class tied with fiona....
fiona improved DARN a lot....

i'm starting to be scared.
the closer it is to the PSLE
the lesser i want to mug...
i totally didn't mug for my prelims and my science totally dipped...
the closer it is to PSLE
the lazier i turn
the more i want to just do nothing.
althought my brain is telling me its high time i start to study,
my body does nothing tt my brain tells to it...
freak...
i'm already lazy
but i'm turning LAZIER
hellppppppppppppp

feeling like going blading suddenly...
i don't understand a lot of things now...
like why you are so self-centered???
i don't really get the human race sometimes..
i guess i don't exist on the earth long enough for me to make ANY right desicions...
i make wrong desicions all the time..
like choosing WRONG FRIENDS
tts a classic example...

i'm getting the "i shouldn't be doing this now" feeling again...
i think i'll go TRY and mug again.
oh well but it never works.
i'll try just for the sake of trying
will fill you ppl in on my other results again tomorrow.

260807

2007-08-26T07:06:00.000-07:00

i finally redid my blog.
it was a mess...
i have loads to blog about...

church mates
i really CAN'T stand it/them anymore.
i HATE having to act ignorant.
i HATE having to pretend to like you ppl.
I HATE THIS
show some respect.
i know its difficult,
but try!
i don't let you in on MY secrets
tt's cause you ppl do not let me trust you!
i talk to nicholas.
tt's cause you ppl do not talk to me!
i ignore you ppl.
tt's cause you ppl ignore me!
you think this is really fun??
it really MAKES ME SICK
you ppl think i like nicholas?
oh PLEASE
GROW UP
GET A LIFE
i have to know something important about someone.
so i go and confront his bestfriend which happpens to be nicholas.
and you ppl claim tt i like nicholas.
and spread UNTRUE rumors about me.
i've had enough alright!
I KNOW WHAT YOU PPL ARE DOING BEHIND MY BACK
DON'T NEED TO ACT ALL INNOCENT
you ppl are pathetic.
you like him then GO TELL HIM
if you don't want to then don't blame him for talking to me!
DARN IT MAN
i'm sorry but this is the bare hurtful truth..

i HATE the way you act all nice.
i HATE the way you lie about you 1000 boyfriends in school.
i HATE the way you pretend to act cute.
i HATE the way you always want attention.
i HATE the way you pretend to always know everything.
i HATE the way you always try to pour cold water over ppl.
i HATE the way you pressure ppl into doing things.
i HATE the way you act all nice infront of joel.
i HATE the way you pretend to really like me.
i HATE the way you always pretned to know joel really well.
i HATE the way you show-off your second-hand v3 and claim tt it's first-hand
i HATE the way you pretend that you're really popular in school.
i HATE the way you always roll your eyes at me.
i HATE the way you always blame everyone/everything else but yourself.
i HATE the way you show-off the only neoprint you ever took.
i HATE the way you lie tt ben is really good to you.
i HATE the way you pretend to be perfect.
I HATE YOU
and yes.
I'm NOT a coward.
i AM talking about bernice teo..
i can't stand you anymore.
you're causing me to feel like crap...
i ain't perfect..
i know tt.
so neither are you..
stop ganging up with maralene/alex/alicia to bully me..
i have had enough of you ppl!

Prelims
english was alright..
paper 1 wanted us to write about seeing a group of my school mates misbehaving.
i wrote soooo much!
even said tt the boys were sniffing glue...
is my imagination too wild??
hmm ended my 7 page novel saying tt they were thrown into the boy's home.. ha!

but math prelims was total CRAP
the dumb paper was quite easy.
but the last few questions tt provided students 4/5 marks for every correct answer,
it HAD to have sooo many errors!!
the teachers were also SENSIBLE enough to stop all the 6-8 errors in the last half hour of the paper!
and as compensation for us wasting 1hr to stare at the dumb questions,
they gave us bonus 5 mins...
what a GREAT increase of time!
darn it!
and the DUMB last question tt would have provided me with 5 marks,
it was some question asking about some pie or something.
the correct answer was an answer tt was with decimal...
like 50.23 or something.
so what the question was stating was tt the guy cut the pie up into 100 pieces!
darn it man!

science was okayy.
i freaked out after reading the first question in the paper and totally regretted not studying properly.
the question asked what gases did the stomata allow to enter into it?
-oxygen
-carbon dioxide
-water vapour
i totally flipped and choose tt all three could enter.
luckily i was correct.
i promise i'll NEVER not study again!

hmt paper was darn unexpected.
it was even easier then the chi paper...

chi paper 2 was alright.
paper 1 almost killed me.
they wanted us to write about one incident tt made your heart ache...
i almost fell off my chair.
i couldn't think of what to write..
my mind went BLANK
in the end couldn't finish the paper..

english paper 2 - 72/95
hmt paper 2 - 47half/60
not really satisfactory....
i expected more for english...
i really want to beat 6challenge's first in class for english...
tts my target.
i need to work on my compositions...)):

its 10:45pm in the night now.
im tired....
i'll try to blog again soon...
but im quite busy with ballet/tution/school/school
i really love ballet...((: